How often would you say men deserve to be cheated on? - Page 5 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#14738167
New rule: it should only be cheating if you fuck someone else harder. As long as it's not as enthusiastic or enjoyable it shouldn't count. Like the line is at "less than" not "less than or equal to" just so we're on the same page.

That way, if you want to cheat, you gotta fuck your wife/husband real good so you can enjoy it with others. Except... maybe you just solved your own problem?

You're welcome, I'll be moving on to World Hunger next.
#14738186
Hard to say that someone necessarily deserves something. One could state that these things tend to result in such ends, but that someone fucks things up isn't necessarily sufficient to justify desert. Someone could be naive to the likely consequences of their actions, but their naivety doesn't necessarily entail that we think they deserve hurt or worse, harm because of it.
I think an important element to discuss that I think influences how much we think someone deserves certain consequences is how much we believe that someones actions warrant blame.
Where things like causality, intentionality, and preventability intervene.
Where one might say one's lack of attention to the maintenance of one's relationship is enough to warrant blame and that they had the capacity to prevent it, but they showed no intention of addressing the matter because they simply shut down from addressing issues within the stagnant relationship. But this is assuming that the partner who didn't cheat is the reason the other cheated while its hypothetically plausible that they were in fact an amazing partner who did all that is socially expected of a loving partner. In which case, we are less likely to suggest that the person who was cheated on deserved such an outcome and would likely morally denigrate the cheater.

Unfortunately I lean toward thinking that in the majority of cases where a man is cheated on by a woman, he leaned toward deserving it, as due to biological differences men are more likely by default to have an urge to seek out multiple partners, while women are unlikely to unless there's something poor about the one they have, or better about the potential new one.

I think there is more to it than a vague reference to 'biological differences'. One biological difference I imagine that would be emphasized is the reality of pregnancy which bears a higher cost/burden on women than it does men. But neglected from all of this is a social reality which severely punishes women and seeks to maintain varying degrees of control of women's sexuality.
In fact, it would seem that in similar positions of power, women are as likely to commit infidelity.
Power Increases Infidelity Among Men and Women
Abstract Data from a large survey of 1,561 professionals were used to examine the relationship between power and infidelity and the process underlying this relationship. Results showed that elevated power is positively associated with infidelity because power increases confidence in the ability to attract partners. This association was found for both actual infidelity and intentions to engage in infidelity in the future. Gender did not moderate these results: The relationship between power and infidelity was the same for women as for men, and for the same reason. These findings suggest that the common assumption (and often-found effect) that women are less likely than men to engage in infidelity is, at least partially, a reflection of traditional gender-based differences in power that exist in society.


I think a better framing would be to argue cases where cheating isn't necessarily morally problematic or is at least of diminished immorality.
So for example, we might be more forgiving to the partner who cheats in an abusive relationship and is trying to leave their abusive, loveless relationship because we resonate with the sense that they are unloved. Though one might hold greater expectations on duty such as ending a relationship before pursuing another regardless of circumstance.

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