[senor boogie woogie]

I won’t even need the Nobel Peace Prize unless it comes with a fat cheque.

How I would do it. Invite the upper echelon of China including Xi Jinpeng to Taiwan. Taiwan welcomes them; no animosity or bullshit, come on over, drink some Baijiu; eat huge meals, KTV. Have a blast.

The Mainlanders within a week will first feel Earthquakes. Lots of earthquakes there. Then the flooding. It always rains and floods on the island. Taiwan is full of rabid old dogs that chase cars and people everywhere. Plus a cyclone of pollution that never goes away and stuck in a brown vortex of crap. Then just, Taiwan is an environmental nightmare.

After a week of Earthquakes, floods, rabid dogs, pollution that stills the air, and humidity that could kill a maggot (plus Betsy but chewers of red spit and millions of scooters) the Mainlanders will flee home and say fk it; you are a country, we don’t want to take care of you! We have enough problems and taking Taiwan on just adds more to their trouble.

The only caveat Beijing would have to Taipei is do your own thing, just don’t get America involved. Other than that, it’s your stinky island!