[Spider Jerusalem]

Everyone knows there's like three major versions of anarchy.
Anarcho-capitalists (Libertarians)
Anarcho-syndacilysts (Communists)
and Anarcho-Prmitivists. (They're lazy and just call themselves anarchists)

So to finnaly get a grasp of the core differance in ideologies, here's what it would look like in a presidential debate between them. I'm sure you will sympathize for one or the other, that's the whole point.

How many libertarians/anarchists/communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Libertarian: None, the market will solve the problem.

Communist: All people shall have thier lightbulbs, and there will be someone to screw them for each household.

Anarchist: Lightbulbs are the product of worker slavery only to diminish the very planet we liveon. I screw a lightbulb more then anyone's screwed in thier life! Bring back candles you eco-terrorist motherfuckers!

What to do about roe vs wade?
Libertarian: Leave it up to states. I'm so much for change i'm going to set us back fifty years ago...

Communist: How can something be legal or illegal without a state? About the only "pro-choice" position would be a collective vote based on the position, the health, and the circumstances of each party involved. There is no private property, your body is just as much mine as it is your's, as mine is your's.

Anarchist: What is and is not acceptable is equivalent to how much you're willing to defend your actions. Equal oppurtunity murder I say! If someone wants to abort thier baby go ahead, but then when some guy bombs the clinic, don't come crying to me jackass!

What about the death penalty?
Libertarian: Let private lawfirms innate justice however they see fit.

Communist: Democratic process. If the collective thinks someone is hanus enough to deserve death, so be it. We shall free ourselves from opression by collectively oppressing!

Anarchist: People who can't defend themself deserve to die. Let the individuals handle life and death for themself. The family of "the victim" will deal with their assaliant accordingly. No point in getting everybody involved.

Animal rights?
Libertarian: Animals have no rights, they are property.

Communist: Animals are our brothers and sisters of the motherland. We should respect them with life and decent treatment, and in return they grant us milk and eggs.

Anarchist: *Digs into the ground stealing the squirrel's nuts and the squirrel's bitch him out*

Why should people vote for you?
Libertarian: To slowly ween everyone off the goverment teet. Eventualy through democratic process the entire base of this great nation of our's will become solely a private matter. Goverment will be so small you can drown it in a bucket.

Communist: Because wether private or public enterprise herachys are formed and class struggle is abundant. It's time we evolved beyond the vicious circle of capitalsm and fascm, to a greater era of collective love. One big happy family.

Anarchist: People shouldn't vote for me, they shouldn't vote for anyone. What would our precious goverment do if no-one voted anywhere? Atlas Shrugged motherfucker!

What do you think of your opponents?
Libertarian: Anarchist is a dellussional scoundrel who probably still has mommy drive him around everywhere.
Communist is a authoritan sociopath who believes in fascism by majority.

Communist: Anarchist is a bipolar meglomaniac who thinks everything can be solved with guns and snoo-snoo.
Libertarian is a dangerous beruocrat who cleverly hides his hunger for power with privatization. Which ultimately leads to struggles of competion and thus one opresses another. That is not liberty.

Anarchist: My mom drives me around because gas is expensive motherfucker! And yes! I'd love some snoo-snoo! Infact i'm going to call my 14 year old girlfriend right now and--oh shit did I say that outloud? *Police car sirens driveup*