[Siberian Fox]

New format for the satire forum suggested by Adrien.

Users can no longer start new topics. Instead a new thread will be started for each week and all the weeks satire must be posted there. At the end of the week the thread will be locked.

The two users responsible for making this necessary know who they are - or at least they should do

[Adrien]

Thanks for taking that idea, I hope it will work well. Anyways, here's my cartoon:

[The American Lion]

3/29/2004

[TROI]

This one made me laugh

[naked_turk]

Oh god not the virgins thing again... It's a lie.

And I propose we add an extra rule.... one cartoon per day per person.

[Crazy Brown Guy]

Oh god not the virgins thing again... It's a lie.

And I propose we add an extra rule.... one cartoon per day per person.

This is what heppens when an illinformed artist decides to draw political toons and an illinformed .... decides to spread it.

[The American Lion]

Oh god not the virgins thing again... It's a lie.

And I propose we add an extra rule.... one cartoon per day per person.

Their all good!

[The American Lion]

This is what heppens when an illinformed artist decides to draw political toons and an illinformed .... decides to spreads it.

Wrong. Muslims clerics have been teaching terrorists that if they blew them selves up and kill jews or Americans they will be awared Virgins. Even know its a lie they still preach it to kill more people.

[naked_turk]

Wrong. Muslims clerics have been teaching terrorists that if they blew them selves up and kill jews or Americans they will be awared Virgins. Even know its a lie they still preach it to kill more people.

Can you show me an example of this? Of course you can't... This is just another example of Israeli propaganda, and it has caught on because people are too lazy and too stupid to check and verify what they are being told.

[Mic]

I want proof and documentation of this too.

[Crazy Brown Guy]

I want proof and documentation of this too.

There isn't any.

[Boondock Saint]

LINK

Two points need to be noted. First, there is no mention anywhere in the Koran of the actual number of virgins available in paradise, and second, the dark-eyed damsels are available for all Muslims, not just martyrs. It is in the Islamic Traditions that we find the 72 virgins in heaven specified: in a Hadith (Islamic Tradition) collected by Al-Tirmidhi (died 892 CE [common era*]) in the Book of Sunan (volume IV, chapters on The Features of Paradise as described by the Messenger of Allah [Prophet Muhammad], chapter 21, About the Smallest Reward for the People of Paradise, (Hadith 2687). The same hadith is also quoted by Ibn Kathir (died 1373 CE ) in his Koranic commentary (Tafsir) of Surah Al-Rahman (55), verse 72: "The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]'."

I didnt read the books they use as a source ... but hey ...

[Crazy Brown Guy]

from the same link

Luxenberg tries to show that many obscurities of the Koran disappear if we read certain words as being Syriac and not Arabic. We cannot go into the technical details of his methodology but it allows Luxenberg, to the probable horror of all Muslim males dreaming of sexual bliss in the Muslim hereafter, to conjure away the wide-eyed houris promised to the faithful in suras XLIV.54; LII.20, LV.72, and LVI.22. Luxenberg 's new analysis, leaning on the Hymns of Ephrem the Syrian, yields "white raisins" of "crystal clarity" rather than doe-eyed, and ever willing virgins - the houris. Luxenberg claims that the context makes it clear that it is food and drink that is being offerred, and not unsullied maidens or houris.

In Syriac, the word hur is a feminine plural adjective meaning white, with the word "raisin" understood implicitly. Similarly, the immortal, pearl-like ephebes or youths of suras such as LXXVI.19 are really a misreading of a Syriac expression meaning chilled raisins (or drinks) that the just will have the pleasure of tasting in contrast to the boiling drinks promised the unfaithful and damned.

As Luxenberg's work has only recently been published we must await its scholarly assessment before we can pass any judgements. But if his analysis is correct then suicide bombers, or rather prospective martyrs, would do well to abandon their culture of death, and instead concentrate on getting laid 72 times in this world, unless of course they would really prefer chilled or white raisins, according to their taste, in the next.

[Slip, Freudian]

LINK

Two points need to be noted. First, there is no mention anywhere in the Koran of the actual number of virgins available in paradise, and second, the dark-eyed damsels are available for all Muslims, not just martyrs. It is in the Islamic Traditions that we find the 72 virgins in heaven specified: in a Hadith (Islamic Tradition) collected by Al-Tirmidhi (died 892 CE [common era*]) in the Book of Sunan (volume IV, chapters on The Features of Paradise as described by the Messenger of Allah [Prophet Muhammad], chapter 21, About the Smallest Reward for the People of Paradise, (Hadith 2687). The same hadith is also quoted by Ibn Kathir (died 1373 CE ) in his Koranic commentary (Tafsir) of Surah Al-Rahman (55), verse 72: "The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]'."

I didnt read the books they use as a source ... but hey ...

Sounds like Muslims go to a kick-ass paradise. Should I convert?

But oh yeah, I get a nice straight from the big Seven, daily. Well, ok, sometimes I'm not on a lustful mood on Sundays, but that's just because I spend the 6 days before proudly gluttoneous, all the while being greedy for more time to be lazy, angry and envious of my fellow humans. Some of those is bound to be sin in islam too.

[naked_turk]

LINK

Two points need to be noted. First, there is no mention anywhere in the Koran of the actual number of virgins available in paradise, and second, the dark-eyed damsels are available for all Muslims, not just martyrs. It is in the Islamic Traditions that we find the 72 virgins in heaven specified: in a Hadith (Islamic Tradition) collected by Al-Tirmidhi (died 892 CE [common era*]) in the Book of Sunan (volume IV, chapters on The Features of Paradise as described by the Messenger of Allah [Prophet Muhammad], chapter 21, About the Smallest Reward for the People of Paradise, (Hadith 2687). The same hadith is also quoted by Ibn Kathir (died 1373 CE ) in his Koranic commentary (Tafsir) of Surah Al-Rahman (55), verse 72: "The Prophet Muhammad was heard saying: 'The smallest reward for the people of paradise is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine, and ruby, as wide as the distance from Al-Jabiyyah [a Damascus suburb] to Sana'a [Yemen]'."

I didnt read the books they use as a source ... but hey ...

Neither have I. I haven't even heard of those books. Notice in no where does it say "Koran." It cites different, probably books which really have nothing to do with being a Muslim. I couldn't care less myself what a Muslim supposedly gets in their paradise... but having read ther Koran and seeing no sign of "72 virgins," I get pissed off when people say things like "Those sick dirty Palestinians trick their little children into thinking they will have sex with 72 virgins."

[LadyVenus]

Do all the ones, who think they are experts and knowledgable enough about Islam and the Middle East, know that talking about sex in public in such cultures can be considered a taboo? Do you realize that? Sex talk and all that is confined with adults, who are married and experienced. A 14 years old teenger in the west can be more experienced in sex than a 20 years old ME youth. So, this argument of "tricking the kids to meet their 72 virgins" is very lame and does not make sense to me. It is not acceptable culturally to talk about sex let alone promising kids with virgins.

[The American Lion]

3/30/2004

[unPerson1]

It is not acceptable culturally to talk about sex let alone promising kids with virgins.

You are all assuming that these Muslims actually have sex with the 72 virgins. Does it actually say that anywhere?

I, for one, insist that they play chess with them.

[Dark Canuck]

Despite this lockdown TRP is spamming all the same.

[SpiderMonkey]

Despite this lockdown TRP is spamming all the same.

Of course, what do you expect. He spams to make his marginal viewpoint more visible.