[jaydedjen110]

http://www.nami.org/Learn-More/Mental-Health-By-the-Numbers

This is an important subject to me since I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Last year, I tried to overdose on my medications after an argument with my uncle and father. I felt like I was a burden on them, and figured they'd be happier without me. I've also self-harmed in the past, but I've been clean for about 7 months. It started when my mom died in 2012. I had started self-harming then, because I couldn't cope with my mother dying.

Depression is a real, diagnosable mental illness, and it's like living through hell. Depression isn't sadness that goes away after a while, it can take weeks just to feel energetic enough to clean the house or do laundry. I still went to work, I still took care of my dad, but I didn't feel like any of it mattered, that none of my efforts to seem normal were being acknowledged. I had days where I got home from work so drained that I would sleep from the time I got home to when my dad did. There are days still where I just don't want to wake up.

I have scars on my arms. I also have them on my legs. They're not pretty, and most of the older ones are small enough to fade on their own, but there's two big ones on my upper arm that I'm not proud of.

I'm not looking for attention. I won't get better if you tell me to 'just stop being sad. Stop being so afraid, you have nothing to worry about.' It doesn't help.