One Degree wrote:My wife's last words were, "I can't handle the pain anymore." Why would anyone want a loved one to reach that point? We should be allowed to choose when we want to leave this world.
Ouch. I know it's cheesy and won't help at all, but I would like to say I'm sorry for what happened to your wife. You made the right decision and no one deserves to be driven to suicide. It's completely not your fault.
I suppose (and correct me if I'm wrong anyone who experienced this) that when you have depression, every little thing weighs down on you. Embarrassed a close friend? You will remember it for weeks after everyone else has forgotten and the shame for months after even you have forgotten. During especially stressful or bad times, it literally feels like you can do nothing right. After a while all of that literally drives you near insane. You start crying yourself to bed. You think about killing yourself so much that it becomes normalized. You tell yourself that people will miss you but move on relatively easily. This is especially true if you have a paranoia related stress. You think your friends won't care too much, or not at all.
If you are really smart (read stupid) you will learn to avoid showing the symptoms, that you even persuade yourself. Do you talk to yourself? "Sure I bet people do that when they are thinking." Are you having really weird appetite or sleep patterns (<1000 calories and 2 hours of sleep over the same 72 hours? And not feeling the slightest bit hungry or tired?). "I must just be ill with a virus." Even with no symptoms of illness. Am I at risk for depression or mental disorders? "eh, I'll just fight off whatever I have." True stories. Your greatest enemy is yourself.
Bipolar must be really bad. Sure other disorders make you feel worse, all the time. But its messed up to feel euphoric, literally all-accomplishing, then within a few days that comes all crashing down. Everything that you started seems pointless, and you feel a sinking hole you on the very worst nights. Sure, you can try to predict your cycles, but working around them is hopeless. A very good thing can make you euphoric within minutes, and a really bad thing can drop you back to the bottom.
And those who suffer like this for years on end. Possibly even a decade. A really stressful, long decade, with no one who they can talk to and expect not to be judged and pulled for help. Your friends are off limits and even more parents and other adults. You are literally alone. Those are the people who are at the most risk. Yet, more is expected of them. Of course they are going to break. They are going to break and hard. Like this.
What about those who get it when they are young or uneducated? They literally have no idea. They feel an urge to compensate for their short comings. Possibly suicide. At first they ignore it. Such a thought is ridiculous and yet to be normalized. But if they don't learn. They won't know what it is. How to stop it. Until its too late.
Those who attempt suicide are calling out for some help. Either they were fortunate enough to mess up on the last second. Or maybe their changed their mind.
One more day, just to see. Just to see if life is worth living. One more day for the world to prove itself worthy of this person. One day to get them help. These are the people who you can help. They have shown what lies inside of them, and you have to take the steps to guide them to safety. Don't assume that they will do it. They can't fight it off themselves. Or that someone else will guide them. You have to do it.
When I see a thread title like this, it pains me. Of course you can't understand their situation! But stating so only dejects them from society further. Further from help. If a mod reads this, please rename the thread. It will give people a chance to share their issues. The internet is among the best places to do so. You feel untraceable, and letting it out does help a little. It defines your problem. If you don't know what the problem is how can you hope to even begin to solve it? Almost as importantly is providing a positive environment to do so. It only makes it worse if someone trivializes your problem or worse. They need support and care.
Sorry that was really dark, but its the truth. Or at least one perspective of it.Edit: Before you ask "why should I try to bother?" keep in mind that many people who are suicidal can create. In physics alone a large portion of the founders of thermodynamics, statistical mechanics, and quantum mechanics committed suicide. Alan Turing, the father of computer science, committed suicide. And plenty others who you can look up.
- By Unthinking Majority
- By ingliz
- By Pants-of-dog
