Should it Really be Ok to NOT hit your child? - Page 5 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#14048557
Baff wrote:Then you are stuck up.


Stuck up for wanting to contribute to society in a positive way?

Firstly, I don't think you turned out alright.


Really, why's that then?

If you feel you have, then clearly smacking wasn't a problem for you.


I don't *really* have a problem with the odd smack, just don't make it into an excuse for bad parenting. You and the OP are holding extreme positions.
#14048572
Baff wrote:Please look at the responses of every single person in this thread who has been smacked as a child.


Are you honestly arguing that a handful of anecdotes is better evidence than a whole stack of peer reviewed studies?

Because that would also be incorrect.
#14048578
Pants-of-dog wrote:Are you honestly arguing that a handful of anecdotes is better evidence than a whole stack of peer reviewed studies?


He knows this, I've told him time and time again but he thinks his 'common sense' (read: daily mail right wing bs) is superior.
#14048771
Baff...

Fight the good fight my friend even if you can NEVER get another fellow adult to fully understand nor comprehend the true facts OR the correct way.
You and I both know that it's better to at least try and make an effort to help guide a child down the right path ( even if it does require a little violence ) rather than to just sit back, drink a beer and do absolutely NOTHING.
Skeptic was probably raised in a gated community and was spoiled NOT beaten into being good.
MOST kids don't have that life of luxury and the ones who do can't really imagine how a macaroni strainer can leave those little hole impressions on the side of your face.
That alone is something I think that EVERYONE should experience at least once for themselves.
#14048773
Fight the good fight my friend even if you can NEVER get another fellow adult to fully understand nor comprehend the true facts OR the correct way.
You and I both know that it's better to at least try and make an effort to help guide a child down the right path ( even if it does require a little violence ) rather than to just sit back, drink a beer and do absolutely NOTHING.
Skeptic was probably raised in a gated community and was spoiled NOT beaten into being good.
MOST kids don't have that life of luxury and the ones who do can't really imagine how a macaroni strainer can leave those little hole impressions on the side of your face.
That alone is something I think that EVERYONE should experience at least once for themselves


mod edit: deleted for niceness

I say this because absolutely no one here is arguing that adults should do "absolutely NOTHING" when disciplining their kids.

As a parent (perhaps the only one in this thread), let me assure you that there are many ways to discipline a child without hitting them.
#14048892
dgun wrote:And actually I screwed up one post pretty bad, but because I'm awesome I found the post in my browser's history and was able to save it. You're welcome.


Thanks for your awesomeness!

dgun wrote:Incorrect.


Thank god.

So, as a parent what's your opinion?
#14049421
Pants-of-dog wrote:In what situation would you consider it okay?


Children are born with different personalities. Of course they can be influenced and “shaped”, etc., but there is no denying that children have a personality type from day one.

Different personalities respond differently to various forms of discipline. If you have never been around children with certain personalities it may be difficult to understand that occasionally physical force is necessary. You might say try solution “x” or try solution “y”, but when the point for the child is outright defiance, that cannot go unchallenged. And when a child is stubborn enough and strong-willed enough to endure whatever for the sake of defiance, you have to use physical force.

The tricky part is not to totally break their will, as that is a source of strength for them in life.
#14049483
Pants-of-dog wrote:So, you would consider it okay if the child was such that it was impossible to reason with the child in any other way?

Wouldn't you say that such a child has developmental issues and needs professional help?


lol. well of course not. I would say that such a child is well within any reasonable range of "normal" and just needs a spanking.

And wouldn't you consider months/years of worthless and unnecessary therapy more damaging to a child than the occasional spanking?

But like I said, if you've never been around children with certain personality types, it is very difficult to understand.
#14049507
dgun wrote:lol. well of course not. I would say that such a child is well within any reasonable range of "normal" and just needs a spanking.

And wouldn't you consider months/years of worthless and unnecessary therapy more damaging to a child than the occasional spanking?

But like I said, if you've never been around children with certain personality types, it is very difficult to understand.


I don't think that being unable to deal with any sort of reasoned communication as "normal".

I would consider years of therapy to be far better than leaving a child with this particular lack of ability.
#14049638
Pants-of-dog wrote:I don't think that being unable to deal with any sort of reasoned communication as "normal".


It's not a matter of 'ability'. It's a matter of will.

Besides, if being irrational and stubborn is automatically a mental health issue, half of this forum should be locked away in an institution.
#14049643
dgun wrote:It's not a matter of 'ability'. It's a matter of will.

Besides, if being irrational and stubborn is automatically a mental health issue, half of this forum should be locked away in an institution.


Well, then you are talking about a child that is perfectly capable of listening to reason, and thus can be reasoned with. I had thought that you meant a child that was incapable of reason.

If a child is capable of reason, then you reason with them.

If they are unwilling to listen to reason, you restrain them from acting violently (by pinning their limbs if necessary) and then put them in a room by themselves until they calm down enough to listen.

When they are calm, you patiently explain why it would be better for them to listen to you.

No hitting involved.
#14049689
Pants-of-dog wrote:If they are unwilling to listen to reason, you restrain them from acting violently (by pinning their limbs if necessary) and then put them in a room by themselves until they calm down enough to listen.

When they are calm, you patiently explain why it would be better for them to listen to you.

No hitting involved.


Still, that's physical force. And you seem to think this about a tantrum.

The way I dealt with tantrums is entirely different.

And reasoning is fine to a point, but if it becomes a consistent pattern a parent will be justifying every decision they make to a child.
#14049693
dgun wrote:Still, that's physical force.


And I never said anything about not using physical force. But physically stopping a child from hitting others is not hitting them in any way, which is what the thread is about.

dgun wrote:And you seem to think this about a tantrum.

The way I dealt with tantrums is entirely different.

And reasoning is fine to a point, but if it becomes a consistent pattern a parent will be justifying every decision they make to a child.


I am assuming a scenario where the parent has already let it get so out of hand that the child refuses to listen to the parent anymore. I tend to use reason far before this point, but in the case of toddlers, this may not happen as frequently as we like.

Well, if you make consistently reasonable decisions, then you should be able to explain to a child every decision you make. Every child I have raised this way eventually figures out that I tend to have good reasons for what I ask, so they only ask when they can't figure it out themselves. This does not happen very often because I have taught them (through this disciplinary choice and other ways) to use reason.
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