[Suntzu]

Girls get interested in boys before boys get interested in girl. It is common/typical for girls to date a boy a couple of years older.

Boys develop a mental image of the ideal girl. It doesn't change much as they age.

[MistyTiger]

Love is a selfish thing. Shocking, ain't it? I look for stability, intelligence, sensitivity, self awareness...and I don't want to train a boy to be a man, his momma and daddy are there for that. I don't want to marry a son, I want an equal.

I pity the boys with mental issues but I know women with mental issues too. One woman cannot be held responsible for a boy's anguish. Anguish is internal and usually it is due to the boy's inability to cope in life...in general. No girl or woman should be blamed for that inability to cope. Life is hard for everyone, but some just aren't strong enough to brave the battles. There are winners and losers. People tend to choose winners or potential winners to mate with. Plus, I believe we can control our mindset and attitude, I did. I was once a whiner and I hated who I was and my life. Now I am more positive and I love myself and life more.

Drlee and Godstud hit the nail on the head about experience, listening and confidence.

I have seen too many young men who are too timid to approach me and it disgusted me. The older men tended to be warmer. I have male friends who are in their 40s and 50s mostly. They listen and they keep conversations going. Who likes stiff or dull conversations? Bad conversations are just torture.

[colliric]

Love is a selfish thing. Shocking, ain't it? I look for stability, intelligence, sensitivity, self awareness...and I don't want to train a boy to be a man, his momma and daddy are there for that. I don't want to marry a son, I want an equal.

26 = 26....

That is equal.

In reality you are not looking for an equal as you yourself are inexperienced and hunting for an experienced man. You are looking as much for a Father figure as young men are looking for a motherly woman too. That is Darwin at work.

If you wanted a actual equal you would be going for an inexperienced young man of EQUAL AGE.

I can't believe I am the only one arguing from logic in this thread.

Oh and the fact it disgusts you that young men are too timid to approach you is because you are expecting one way traffic on what is a two way street.

[Drlee]

In reality you are not looking for an equal as you yourself are inexperienced and hunting for an experienced man. You are looking as much for a Father figure as young men are looking for a motherly woman too. That is Darwin at work.

What do you think "I want to marry and equal" means? She told you she wanted "stability, intelligence, sensitivity, self awareness...". These are not the traits solely of a father figure. They are the traits of a mature individual. There are young people with all of these traits. Just fewer of them.

If you wanted a actual equal you would be going for an inexperienced young man of EQUAL AGE.

Why are you so obsessed with age? It is a number. No more. Are you somehow under the impression that all 20 year olds are of equal maturity. Or as you argue, immaturity? I can assure you they are not.

I can't I am the only one arguing from logic in this thread.

No you most definitely are not. You are arguing like an immature person who wishes to level the playing field. Tell me Mr. Logical. I am 12 years older then my wife. What is illogical about our relationship?

Perhaps you want to be more successful with women. If you do I would suggest you work on understanding them rather than trying to tell them how they "ought" to act. You would be far better served listening to Misty than you are arguing with her.

One more question. Why would it be "logical" for an 20 year old woman to marry an 20 year old young man just starting out than it would be for her to marry a 28 year old doctor who is madly in love with her?

Riddle me that.

[MistyTiger]

26 = 26....

That is equal.

In reality you are not looking for an equal as you yourself are inexperienced and hunting for an experienced man. You are looking as much for a Father figure as young men are looking for a motherly woman too. That is Darwin at work.

If you wanted a actual equal you would be going for an inexperienced young man of EQUAL AGE.

I can't believe I am the only one arguing from logic in this thread.

Oh and the fact it disgusts you that young men are too timid to approach you is because you are expecting one way traffic on what is a two way street.

Age is a number and is numerically equal but not necessarily equal in terms of maturity and experience.

I have met some young men who have only had 3 jobs in their life, while others like me have already had over a dozen so we pick and choose what to leave on and off of the resume. I am also a nontraditional student, most won't go back to school in their 30s.

Boys don't approach me because I look exotic, I am not their type or they look down at me. If I don't like the vibes I feel, I am just polite and I don't risk a set down. I have learned to read people and it reduces the chances that people make a fool out of me.

I think I have more experience than guys my age.

Btw, I am in my 30s, not 26 years old.

Sent from my Nexus 10 using Tapatalk

[colliric]

One more question. Why would it be "logical" for an 20 year old woman to marry an 20 year old young man just starting out than it would be for her to marry a 28 year old doctor who is madly in love with her?

Riddle me that.

8 years is not a major age difference, you should be using generational language (A Millennial woman dating a Generation X man for instance). By older man, most of us in this thread are not referring to a person also in their 20s and in the same "generation".

If you said 30-40 year old you might have been more on the money in terms of the type of Older Men we are discussing in this thread.

I mean are we on the same page here? Older Man can mean anyone from 1 year older to 50 years older. But most of us interpret it to mean "One generation above, or more".

Let's say you are talking about a 20 year old, she has two suitors. One is a divorced husband and has two children and is 45 years old but is madly in love with the 20 year old and acts fatherly towards, the other is a 22 year old man who has less experience in life and less stability but is single, has similar interests and also loves the woman and is within the same age bracket

Who is the more suitable partner?

......And now who do you think she will choose to go with?

Btw, I am in my 30s, not 26 years old.

Didn't say you were. I pulled that Millennial number out of my arse just as an example. I fact I suspect you and I are the same age(mid-30s).

[Godstud]

You still do not have an argument as to why it's important. Age is irrelevant in a relationship if both parties think it is.

Men committing suicide unless they get pity fucks from women is hilarious. Do you have a source showing that men commit suicide because older men steal all their women?

Oh, yeah. Sorry I stole your womens.

[colliric]

Age is irrelevant in a relationship if both parties think it is.

Tell that to the parents of a 16 year old who thinks that 27 year old guy is a dreamboat going to love her like a Princess.

[Stormsmith]

I mean are we on the same page here? Older Man can mean anyone from 1 year older to 50 years older. But most of us interpret it to mean "One generation above, or more".

I quess not. I read the OP and guessed the writer to be 18, the youngest age acceptable to PoFo. Most guys his age want girls about the same age. Most girls want a guy not more than 7 years older, but obviously there are exceptions.

Let's say you are talking about a 20 year old, she has two suitors. One is a divorced husband and has two children and is 45 years old but is madly in love with the 20 year old and acts fatherly towards, the other is a 22 year old man who has less experience in life and less stability but is single, has similar interests and also loves the woman and is within the same age bracket

Who is the more suitable partner?

The one she loves

Tell that to the parents of a 16 year old who thinks that 27 year old guy is a dreamboat going to love her like a Princess.

The parents can block a marriage, and maybe even dates, depending on where they live, but once she reaches adulthoodey, she chooses, full stop

[colliric]

The one she loves

Let's say the 45 year old got Divorced because he is an alcoholic, cheated on his wife and was abusive to his kids. But has a "way with women" and is a good guy to Women when not drunk.

Meanwhile the young guy while also an alcoholic, had far less of that kindof "experience", was more mouldable and isn't set in his ways.

Now she is currently in love with the older Abusive-Violent-Divorced guy, but likes the younger less Violent guy enough to one day fall in love with him.

Who is right for her? The older Abuser she already loves, even though he could abuse her too, or the flawed young guy with the future still ahead of him that loves her more and whom she might grow to love as time goes on?

[Stormsmith]

What if the one you want me to pick gets a healthy pay cheque, and the other also is well paid but up to his knickers in debt?

[colliric]

What if the one you want me to pick gets a healthy pay cheque, and the other also is well paid but up to his knickers in debt?

Divorce is the great financial Equalizer for old and young men. Older men are not always better off, most of the time only better off if they've always been unmarried, and in fact after Divorce older men are usually actually worse off financially and emotionally than younger men. But I guess they are percieved to be "experienced with Women, after all they had a relationship that lasted a while" anyway.

They are both in financial shit. One has large Student Debt and Rental Debt and is barely makings ends meet, while the other has Alimony and Child Support to pay and is also barely making ends meet.

[Stormsmith]

She'll be with the one she loves. No one drops a loved one for a guy who might be better in 5 - 10 years time. No woman is going to date a guy she regards as immature and she sure as hell isn't going to let him in her bed

[colliric]

Even if that means she'll be with an abuser?

[Crantag]

I had a girl my identical age leave me for a guy 18 years older.

But I was sort of a wreck at the time myself.

It hurt a lot at the time but it was for the better we went separate ways. I didn't really understand her going with that guy at the time, but I reckon it was none of my business and for her to decide based on her own perspective. I went through a dark time, but it wasn't because of her, but really just my personal problems at the time. I embarked on a bit of a personal odyssey which started in a fishery in Alaska. I grew a lot in the process. Things have a way of working themselves out if you let them, and take steps to get your own head straight. Her and I also went through a lot together--externally to us I mean. It was good that we had each other for those times, but sometimes people just gotta go their separate ways. Everyone has their own dreams, and sometimes compromising on these is too big an ask.

[Citizen J]

First, I'm not a woman, so I'm only speculating like all the rest of you guys.
Second, let's acknowledge that a womans priorities probably changes as they get older. What a 50yo wants in a mate is probably not the same as a 20yo.
Third, I think we nailed the priorties of young women. A guy who has his life more together, more wealthy, more emotionally stable. Perfect qualities for fatherhood / provider.
But older women probably want a better sex partner than father figure.

It's kinda funny, though. In my youth, most women didn't want anything to do with me. Now that I'm old, I'm perfectly fine with that. I get to keep all that is mine.

[Stormsmith]

Even if that means she'll be with an abuser?

Well, hopefully our hypothetical heroine will figure out he's abusive before the marriage, but she will ditch him and go look for a new man. Love will be what it takes to get her into bed. Not probability over time. Speaking of which, I'm off to bed

[Godstud]

There sure seem to be a lot of "What ifs", just to pretend that age really matters. 26 = 26? Ridiculous. The variations are almost infinite.

If a girl is 16 it is statutory rape for her to go with a 27 year old man in Canada, at least. Trying to find the exceptions is pretty childish, mind you.

Even if that means she'll be with an abuser?

So she can be with a young abuser or an older one and the younger one is acceptable? Your scenario is ridiculous.

Do you have any real facts about this, or are we expected to play your "what if" game?

[Drlee]

Let's say you are talking about a 20 year old, she has two suitors. One is a divorced husband and has two children and is 45 years old but is madly in love with the 20 year old and acts fatherly towards, the other is a 22 year old man who has less experience in life and less stability but is single, has similar interests and also loves the woman and is within the same age bracket

There is an old saying..."With "if" you can put all Paris in a bottle". Try listening to Stormsmith and Misty. A smart guy would realize that two women with real life experiences are giving you the gift of their personal experience.

If you think about your responses to this thread you will see in yourself the nature of the problem. You are still trying to understand what they understand quite well right now. It is good that you are but if they had to choose someone with more rather than less emotional maturity the deck would be stacked against you.

My wife was in her 20's when we met and I in my 40's. It took us many years to finally marry. When she met me she didn't really like me. I thought she was great from the start but life took me to different parts of the country and it was several years before I returned to Arizona and saw her again. She was young, beautiful and smart. Why did she choose me when she had her choice of men? Who knows? The heart wants what the heart wants.

If I started now I could probably finish reading every important book on public health before I die. And I would know as much as anyone about the subject. I could not even scratch the surface of that thing called "love". It is, after all, what just about every book of fiction is, at least in part, about. They way you and I are going to understand love is not by falling in love. I remember my first love when I was a young boy and have no clue why I was so taken with her. I had seen plenty of girls who were attractive to me but this one was different. She wanted nothing to do with me. It is only when the love is returned that you will even begin to understand love. And then only a little.

One thing I know for sure. If you are looking for a logical reason why people fall in love you will never find one. Now if you want to turn this thread in to "12 ways to screw up your chances with a woman" I am sure we can do that pretty easily.

[colliric]

You should be dating someone your own age....

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2 ... 062631.htm

You'll live longer.

Especially if you are a woman.

Even if their spouse is older, women are more likely to live a shortened life in comparison to dating/marrying someone their own age.

If the spouse is younger it is even worse for women. I would guess this might be due to higher rate of age related pregnancy complications amoungst other issues.