[Unthinking Majority]

"Emotionally available"? What kind of BS talk is that. It's a known fact that when men express feelings(become overly emotional) that women lose respect for these men. Women want strong men who stay logical and reasonable, and who aren't weepy simps.

This "common complaint" is not from women who want men. It's from feminists who want to emasculate men.

That said, emotional distance does not mean lack of communication.

Godstud did you get red-pilled by Amazon's LOTR?

[Unthinking Majority]

Wait @Godstud , are saying that Justin Trudeau (who cries all the time, and takes yoga lessons etc) has been emasculated by the feminists around him, including his mother?

[Godstud]

WTF are you going on about?

I am bored and disappointed by the new fantasy series, Rings of Power(It's not a LOTR series). Women have been playing strong roles for a long time, but this one is doing it at the expense of the males around her, which is NOT what they've done in the past. Furiosa, Ellen Ripley, Lara Croft- strong women, who didn't need the men around her to be displayed as weak or ineffectual, to be seen as strong. This is now what they are doing, however, in these new shows. -- a bit off-topic, btw---

Wait @Godstud , are saying that Justin Trudeau (who cries all the time, and takes yoga lessons etc) has been emasculated by the feminists around him, including his mother?

It sure sounds like it. Excessive emotional displays sure aren't very masculine. JT is not always crying, either.

Taking yoga doesn't make you feminine.

Feminism is not longer about equal rights- which women have. Equality of opportunity exists.

[Unthinking Majority]

My take is due to reasons like evolutionary psychology and probably socialization, most women want a strong, competent protector and provider. Showing emotional vulnerability can therefore be seen as showing weakness, therefore some women see it as not masculine and unattractive.

However, showing vulnerability at certain appropriate times and not caring what anyone else thinks can also be a sign of strength. Being criticized but doing what you want anyways in the face of peer pressure and not being fazed shows confidence and strength and leadership, which women find attractive.

If you're always sobbing and looking weak and pathetic and not in control of your emotions then yes this can be seen as feminine and unattractive.

[Godstud]

However, showing vulnerability at certain appropriate times and not caring what anyone else thinks can also be a sign of strength. Being criticized but doing what you want anyways in the face of peer pressure and not being fazed shows confidence and strength and leadership, which women find attractive.

QFT. I wouldn't consider that emotionally unavailable, though.

If you're always sobbing and looking weak and pathetic and not in control of your emotions then yes this can be seen as feminine and unattractive.

Yes. It has to be controlled.

[Unthinking Majority]

:lol: WTF are you going on about?

I am bored and disappointed by the new fantasy series, Rings of Power(It's not a LOTR series). Women have been playing strong roles for a long time, but this one is doing it at the expense of the males around her, which is NOT what they've done in the past. Furiosa, Ellen Ripley, Lara Croft- strong women, who didn't need the men around her to be displayed as weak or ineffectual, to be seen as strong. This is now what they are doing, however, in these new shows. -- a bit off-topic, btw---

It sure sounds like it. Excessive emotional displays sure aren't very masculine. JT is not always crying, either.

Taking yoga doesn't make you feminine.

Feminism is not longer about equal rights- which women have. Equality of opportunity exists.

Having strong female characters is about equality. Having strong female characters with weak male characters is about asserting dominance.

[Unthinking Majority]

New terms: equality feminism vs dominance feminism.

[Godstud]

Dominance feminism = Toxic Feminism. It's not about equality, but making women out to be superior and this falls apart almost immediately in the face of reality. Men and women are 'equal' but different. Equality of outcome is an impossibility if women are given freedom to choose.

Feminism accomplished equality decades ago. That's why women have been leaders of countries and can do any job they wish to do. They have complete freedom of choice, and in some ways already have superior rights(draft exemption and child custody laws).

note: Red Pill = Reality. There is a backlash against toxic feminism, which has nothing to do with emotional availability.

[Robert Urbanek]

Some women have written off both men and children and now look to dogs for emotional support.

[MistyTiger]

As a woman, I do not mind if a man cries when watching The Notebook. I cry every time I watch A Walk to Remember. Every 5 times I have seen it, I cry. It is okay to feel emotional over stories or actions or by life.

What I do not like is if a man is stoic, very stone-faced. Even though I grew up watching action flicks with those edgy action heroes who never smiled, I still liked to see them crack a joke (even a bitter joke) or show some kind of emotion. At the end of the day, we all are human no matter if we are man or woman. We all have feelings. These emotions make us relatable.

I dislike anyone who is dramatic. If they go overboard with reacting to something sad, serious or just sensational. If they act unreasonable like ask me to change colleges just because he got fired by the college, I call this immaturity or being very dramatic.

Emotionally available in my opinion is allowing oneself to show emotion and show vulnerability in a healthy way. It is about showing a woman that a man can be in tune with his sensitive side. I think of meditation and how one lets the emotions flow gently through the body, feeling every feeling and being aware of one's surroundings and oneself. To sound cliché, it is about being one with the universe. It is about accepting how one is feeling and just releasing it, not bottling it up and denying it. It is like how some heroes get shot and they're bleeding, but they keep moving and they say that they don't feel any pain. They are lying, but they keep moving or else the movie would be over (since the hero refuses to keep providing action). Sometimes I lie to myself like that wounded action hero but I realize now that that is so unhealthy.

[Godstud]

What I do not like is if a man is stoic, very stone-faced. Even though I grew up watching action flicks with those edgy action heroes who never smiled, I still liked to see them crack a joke (even a bitter joke) or show some kind of emotion. At the end of the day, we all are human no matter if we are man or woman. We all have feelings. These emotions make us relatable.

This is not the norm. Most men don't fit into this category.

I dislike anyone who is dramatic. If they go overboard with reacting to something sad, serious or just sensational. If they act unreasonable like ask me to change colleges just because he got fired by the college, I call this immaturity or being very dramatic.

Dramatic is emotional. Emotionality is a more feminine trait. Women don't(and I speak generally) want men who are dramatic or overly-emotional. They want stability and stoicism(to a degree). They want the rock to which they can cling to in a storm of emotions(nice metaphor, eh?).

The problem that occurs is that women want men to be more emotional, but then will, at the same time, find this emotionality to be off-putting.

Emotionally available in my opinion is allowing oneself to show emotion and show vulnerability in a healthy way.

The healthy way for men to show it is not the same as for women.

Men absolutely do feel pain and emotions. We're just hard-wired not to show it, because it's a biological thing that is built into us. Showing too many emotions is seen as a weakness. We' re built so that when stress and emotions overwhelm us, we ACT. That's the survival instinct.

That wounded action hero is hurt and emotional, but he's being strong and brave in the face of it. It's not that he's not afraid or feeling pain. If the Hero's a man, he's just going to use that energy to spur action.

I don't know if you've ever seen a man get angry and punch something like a wall or door, but that's often how we express emotions. We use action and use the energy from the emotions to do something. Hopefully, it's something productive.

It's not unhealthy to do this, unless you are a woman, who deals with things in a different manner. For men, dealing with emotions thru doing something physical(hunting, working out, running, etc.), helps us cope with these things, and relieves the stress of these emotions. That's a healthy way for a man to deal with these things.

Granted, this is the norm and doesn't extend to things like trauma and PTSD, which go beyond this level of the typical coping mechanism that men have.

[MistyTiger]

@Godstud

I agree that men handle emotions differently. I think women just expect a man to tell them how they are feeling. But not every man wants to talk about feelings. I can understand this as I am the type who prefers to avoid the feelings type conversations. Like my father, I prefer to mention observations and then quickly move on from there. Some women though have this need to stew in emotions and drag it out because they need to hear the words (kind of like how women want to hear men say I love you and then go into detail, but men do not like elaborating and getting mushy, as that is a bit much. Even I cannot stomach that. Just throw a poem at her LOL). Some women are ditzy and they want everything spelled out for them. Then they get annoyed because the man is pissed so he gets angry and shows his frustration (due to disliking how it feels to spell out his feelings). So it is an ugly picture caused by a woman needing to have the man be more vocal than he feels comfortable being. It is like how my manager makes me chat with her every week about problems and she wants me to complain. She knows I am reluctant to complain but she is the type who needs to hear the complaints and she craves drama and to hear me talk about feelings. Now and then I do drop some emotions but I try to keep those to a minimum, I need to be professional. But with a woman like her, it is challenging to remain unemotional.

[Morgan Le Fey]

Hiding emotions in some endless quest to be the best Mr. Spock is what MEN think women want because its' want men think they want.

Most men are not "Stoic self-achievers". That's just silly, tbh.

Women want men to treat women like women treat men. You can't talk your way out of that.

[Unthinking Majority]

Some women have written off both men and children and now look to dogs for emotional support.

A dog is:

1. Man's best friend
2. Woman's adopted child

[Godstud]

Hiding emotions in some endless quest to be the best Mr. Spock is what MEN think women want because its' want men think they want.

Men are not emotionless, but HOW they show emotion, and when, is important. No woman wants a weepy man, but a man who is in control of his emotions.

Men show emotions all the time, but men don't show them in the same manner as women. Women like to hug, and men don't generally do that. It's not because we are homophobic or some such nonsense. It's just that we don't show affection to men the same way women might.

A long hug between two women is the same as another guy giving his friend a shot in the arm, or just a long handshake.

Women want men to treat women like women treat men.

So treat them like walking ATMs and date them only to get free meals? Ignore the short ones? Only look for ones that make 6 figure incomes? Call any woman who they are not attracted to "creepy", if they approach them?

Men are not looking to women for protection and providing for them. Men don't want the same things. That's reality.

Women think that if they make a good income that men will be impressed. They won't. Men don't care. Men are not intimidated by masculine "boss bitches". They are turned off by them.

Men aren't looking for a career woman. They are looking for a young, attractive woman, with purity, who will bring them peace, and work WITH them to raise children and be successful.

You can't talk your way out of that.

What women and men want from each other is different. You can't talk your way out of that.