- 15 Sep 2016 04:59
#14718531
As many of you remember when I was on here previously I identified as a Christian then later I made an announcement that I was no longer religious.
I (mostly) identified as a skeptic. Part of this was in the making in that I hadn't been religious in terms of regular church attendance in a long time. In fact I think a lot of my religion was mental assent to things I was taught for a long time. I didn't really have much of a serious interest in putting God first. A lot of it was "head knowledge." My religiosity sort of wavered in and out. I was lukewarm for a long time and sort of thought religion was "good" in that it made people do "good" things.
Eventually one of my friends who grew up in a much more conservative Christian family announced he no longer believed after some discussions we had and variously identified as an atheist or agnostic. After a long time of refining my exact non-religiosity I came to identify as a skeptic. In other words I just couldn't believe it unless I saw proof. I think part of it was somebody who I thought was a serious Christian, much less lukewarm, became a non-believer it sort of shook something that somehow made me feel it was ok to be a non-believer too.
At first I was open only to a handful of people and never told my family about my skepticism. Eventually though I went through a phase that could be described as a "dark night of the soul" in that I just felt something amiss. There was a sense in that I just had no idea and I didn't really know what was behind this world.
I picked up the Bible and started reading it cover to cover, a certain amount of chapters each day. Eventually I came to identify with it and accept it. Even the parts that don't seem to make sense from a modern sensibility I felt there had to be something to this. I saw a lot of wisdom in a lot of the stories because I never looked at them from the angle of a seeker before. Something clicked in me and my skepticism began to shed.
Eventually I began really recognizing stuff in the Old Testament that pointed at Jesus. I do understand Jews have their arguments for why this stuff does not, but I think for me it eventually came to the point where to deny it you would have to be trying to prove it wasn't true. Yet this is from me somebody who read some of the stuff Bart Ehrman and others wrote.
Bart Ehrman for those who do not know is a "historical Jesus" expert who views Jesus as an apocalyptic preacher who was sort of a "good guy." Ehrman is an ex-Evangelical Christian turned agnostic because of the problem of suffering. You can look it up on Wikipedia. That being said there was one thing I read or one talk he gave where he gave the opinion that the disciples sort of saw Jesus in their minds risen from the dead because they were so emotionally traumatized by what happened. That explanation just didn't add up.
I haven't read as much into Robert Price but Price is the one who says Jesus did not exist, most of the disciples did not exist and Paul was not who he said he was. This just didn't seem to add up either (Price is also an ex-Christian) but Price is more a confirmed atheist and disagrees with Ehrman. Still for me it just didn't make sense that Paul would just make this stuff up either.
I understand you can point at all the religions and say "some guy made this up" but a lot of them had something to gain by doing it. Paul had absolutely nothing to gain from a worldly standpoint from making up Christianity. He was a serious Jew who changed to beliving Jesus was Messiah. Some people said he just made up Christianity to make Judaism more acceptable to the Romans. I think this is speculation. We have no evidence he did this.
Eventually I went back to church for the first time in years and took some family members with me who hadn't gone because of a lot of emotional pain they experienced not to mention a split in that church over a pastor being removed from office. There was a sense in which I felt I had to go to church that day call it ridiculous. Yet the message seemed to speak to these family members a lot and I really felt comfortable there. In a sense it seemed to speak to me even though something was said that directly addressed their situation (and this was a new pastor they do not know personally so it wasn't like he saw them and said it).
A friend of mine says that pastors know how to make things connect to people. I'll admit there's some truth, but I feel more comfortable being a Christian and decided to accept that Jesus is Lord. I think part of it too was really turning away from bad habits in my life and you know I am starting to feel better and looking back I realize a lot of bad habits I had hurt me as much as they disobeyed God. So I feel better now. Thought it would be good to hear from a former skeptic turned back to Christianity.
I (mostly) identified as a skeptic. Part of this was in the making in that I hadn't been religious in terms of regular church attendance in a long time. In fact I think a lot of my religion was mental assent to things I was taught for a long time. I didn't really have much of a serious interest in putting God first. A lot of it was "head knowledge." My religiosity sort of wavered in and out. I was lukewarm for a long time and sort of thought religion was "good" in that it made people do "good" things.
Eventually one of my friends who grew up in a much more conservative Christian family announced he no longer believed after some discussions we had and variously identified as an atheist or agnostic. After a long time of refining my exact non-religiosity I came to identify as a skeptic. In other words I just couldn't believe it unless I saw proof. I think part of it was somebody who I thought was a serious Christian, much less lukewarm, became a non-believer it sort of shook something that somehow made me feel it was ok to be a non-believer too.
At first I was open only to a handful of people and never told my family about my skepticism. Eventually though I went through a phase that could be described as a "dark night of the soul" in that I just felt something amiss. There was a sense in that I just had no idea and I didn't really know what was behind this world.
I picked up the Bible and started reading it cover to cover, a certain amount of chapters each day. Eventually I came to identify with it and accept it. Even the parts that don't seem to make sense from a modern sensibility I felt there had to be something to this. I saw a lot of wisdom in a lot of the stories because I never looked at them from the angle of a seeker before. Something clicked in me and my skepticism began to shed.
Eventually I began really recognizing stuff in the Old Testament that pointed at Jesus. I do understand Jews have their arguments for why this stuff does not, but I think for me it eventually came to the point where to deny it you would have to be trying to prove it wasn't true. Yet this is from me somebody who read some of the stuff Bart Ehrman and others wrote.
Bart Ehrman for those who do not know is a "historical Jesus" expert who views Jesus as an apocalyptic preacher who was sort of a "good guy." Ehrman is an ex-Evangelical Christian turned agnostic because of the problem of suffering. You can look it up on Wikipedia. That being said there was one thing I read or one talk he gave where he gave the opinion that the disciples sort of saw Jesus in their minds risen from the dead because they were so emotionally traumatized by what happened. That explanation just didn't add up.
I haven't read as much into Robert Price but Price is the one who says Jesus did not exist, most of the disciples did not exist and Paul was not who he said he was. This just didn't seem to add up either (Price is also an ex-Christian) but Price is more a confirmed atheist and disagrees with Ehrman. Still for me it just didn't make sense that Paul would just make this stuff up either.
I understand you can point at all the religions and say "some guy made this up" but a lot of them had something to gain by doing it. Paul had absolutely nothing to gain from a worldly standpoint from making up Christianity. He was a serious Jew who changed to beliving Jesus was Messiah. Some people said he just made up Christianity to make Judaism more acceptable to the Romans. I think this is speculation. We have no evidence he did this.
Eventually I went back to church for the first time in years and took some family members with me who hadn't gone because of a lot of emotional pain they experienced not to mention a split in that church over a pastor being removed from office. There was a sense in which I felt I had to go to church that day call it ridiculous. Yet the message seemed to speak to these family members a lot and I really felt comfortable there. In a sense it seemed to speak to me even though something was said that directly addressed their situation (and this was a new pastor they do not know personally so it wasn't like he saw them and said it).
A friend of mine says that pastors know how to make things connect to people. I'll admit there's some truth, but I feel more comfortable being a Christian and decided to accept that Jesus is Lord. I think part of it too was really turning away from bad habits in my life and you know I am starting to feel better and looking back I realize a lot of bad habits I had hurt me as much as they disobeyed God. So I feel better now. Thought it would be good to hear from a former skeptic turned back to Christianity.