quetzalcoatl wrote:There is a necessary humility in being a Christian, as described in Paul's analysis of the human condition (reflected in his own behavior): "For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." So there is a critical difference between, on one hand, having the desire to do good and failing, and on the other, completely lacking the desire to do good. God will forgive us, but we have to first have the intent
Being a religious Jew and a homosexual was certainly humiliating for St Paul. St Pauls proto Christian predecessors believed in a figure Jesus Christ that had been killed in a cosmic drama sacrifice that had taken place in the heavens. The abode of many supernatural beings. Paul, as so many believers do took an already existing religious fantasy and manipulated it for his own psychological ends. Paul invented the idea that Jesus was crucified, a humiliating death where the victim was naked. Paul very much emphasises Jesus' humiliation not his suffering.
Only later Jesus was given an earthly biography and the early Christians and apostles reimagined as his companions. The reason that Paul, a man who had never met the earthly Jesus was so able to theologically dominate the development of early Christianity is because none of the early protagonists had ever met Jesus because he never existed. This is why the Synoptics, the Gospel of john and Acts and the Pauline letters all give differing accounts of who Jesus's leading disciples were.