Satire for 2017 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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By noemon
#14760787
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By Ter
#14762714
Suicide bombers on strike





Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this October from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.
The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".
Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained "I sympathise with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting afterlife benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up".

Spokespersons for the BOOM union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, New Zealand and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are no virgins in their areas anyway. According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the popularity of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit package.
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By Frollein
#14769674
Image

Wow, TIG, there's a lot of butthurt in you posts. :lol: "This machine kills fascists" Really now? :lol:
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By The Immortal Goon
#14769800
Frollein wrote:"This machine kills fascists" Really now?


I took it as a commentary against the liberal-left that love to put, "This machine kills fascists," on acoustic guitars, skateboards, and Apple computers.

In looking for a representative image, I also found bikes apparently kill fascists:

Image

So do boards:

Image

And now, human anatomy kills fascists for some reason:

Image

I partially presume that you haven't been around this meme; or maybe you disagree with my conviction that the method of the Jacobins in regime change was more effective than a fifteen year old on a skateboard that he bought at the mall.
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By Frollein
#14769858
The Immortal Goon wrote:I partially presume that you haven't been around this meme; or maybe you disagree with my conviction that the method of the Jacobins in regime change was more effective than a fifteen year old on a skateboard that he bought at the mall.


In fact, I haven't. In the context you provided, I agree it's funny.
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