Why women choose assholes over "nice guys" - Page 2 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#15157730
Godstud wrote:@Drlee :lol: Great post, and pretty much dead on. :up:

I am not liking the biker references though, as I am in an MC and we do that sort of thing. ;) That said, most of the guys have wives and not just girls on the backs of their bikes. The single guys, though, do fit into that mold(as far as relationships go, with a different girl on the bike every few weeks), although we don't put up with actual assholes in our MC. :D

Maybe the allure of these bad boys is that they aren't expecting anything deeper than a "fling". I know some women also have problems with commitment.

QFT. "Good girls" don't fall for the "Bad boys".

Then again, I have a single friend who tells me that, "Bad girls need loving, too!". :D He's loving the bad girls until he is ready for a good girl.


"Good girls can fall for bad boys, but it is a phase." That is how I would word it. Like how millenials crushed on NSYNC in the 90s and now not at all. My example of that 30ish magnetic man...it can happen to any girl. He knew how to seduce a quiet, shy girl and he enjoyed our serious interactions. He wanted to figure me out. He wanted to be near me. It was different from his experiences with the bubbly, flirty women. I was fascinated to see another side of him. He was a teacher back then. I sometimes wonder what if we had started an affair. That day we almost did something was after school, he had advised me to see him after school for questions on an essay. It was so quiet in the hallway. I was standing by his chair, he was sitting at his desk. He could have grabbed my hip and pulled me on his lap. There was a lot of tension in the air that afternoon. I was relieved when the tension vanished when his buddy, another teacher poked his head in to ask a question. He was surprised and disappointed too. But after his buddy left, the moment passed and I left soon after.

@Drlee Great post! I agree.
#15158767
MistyTiger wrote:The OP has a misogynist feel to it.


I want you to consider that what you have been conditioned to describe as "misogyny" might just be a very good thing. I certainly would not describe myself as a true misogynist. However, I am beginning to think that if someone makes this accusation it actually is a compliment, not a detraction.

It doesn't take much to be a misogynist or a racist in today's day and age. I am doing nothing but attempting to use science to explain a common question about sociology. I see no shame in this. I may be wrong in my hypothesis, but it is commendable that I am trying to think critically.

Because when you say "misogynist", it comes across that all you really are saying is that my point of view is not in line with ultra left wing feminist thought, which I perceive as a compliment. So thank you for the compliment : )
#15158781
B0ycey wrote:Funny, most if not all the women I know don't go for assholes. I would say it is time to broaden your social circle AS. It seems you know an awful lot of low esteem women.


Many women are stuck in abusive relationships but they refuse to leave. This is a common theme and it raises this question of why this happens.

I do not personally say that men who are savage are assholes by default, but this seems to be the way many people describe them.
#15158783
Agent Steel wrote:Many women are stuck in abusive relationships but they refuse to leave. This is a common theme and it raises this question of why this happens.

I do not personally say that men who are savage are assholes by default, but this seems to be the way many people describe them.


I wouldn't put all women in the same category. Although abusive relationships exist, they are not common nor are they desired. If you want to understand why women remain in these type of relationships I suggest you learn about trauma bonding. It isn't genetic, desire, hormones or evolution. It is psychological. Much like Stockholm syndrome which perhaps you have heard before.
#15158810
Agent Steel wrote:I want you to consider that what you have been conditioned to describe as "misogyny" might just be a very good thing. I certainly would not describe myself as a true misogynist. However, I am beginning to think that if someone makes this accusation it actually is a compliment, not a detraction.

It doesn't take much to be a misogynist or a racist in today's day and age. I am doing nothing but attempting to use science to explain a common question about sociology. I see no shame in this. I may be wrong in my hypothesis, but it is commendable that I am trying to think critically.

Because when you say "misogynist", it comes across that all you really are saying is that my point of view is not in line with ultra left wing feminist thought, which I perceive as a compliment. So thank you for the compliment : )


I am going by a dictionary definition of misogyny. I feel some dislike or hard feelings against women in your post. Below is taken from Wikipedia.

Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. It enforces sexism by punishing those who reject an inferior status for women and rewarding those who accept it. Misogyny manifests in numerous ways, including social exclusion, sex discrimination, hostility, androcentrism, patriarchy, male privilege, belittling of women, disenfranchisement of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny

Being called a misogynist is not a compliment. It feels like you are putting women down and you dislike some women because you feel slighted by women perhaps. This could be due to rejection or the feeling that women you fancy are not into you. It feels like you are deeply frustrated.

I fail to see how you are using science to explain women's choices. Your OP starts off with a subjective, opinion-based statement. Your personal feeling is evident in your postings. Personal feeling is not objective or scientific. The term "asshole" is not a scientific term, it is a derogatory term that does not appear in scientific articles or essays. The phrase "nice guy" is also not scientific as this is very subjective. Some might think that one person's definition of a "nice guy" is the definition for a "pushover" kind of guy.

Also, the US seems to be misogynistic. Often when women are caught in compromising positions or they are abused, the first response is to vilify or blame the women for what happened to them. Society will victimize the victim. They might say that the woman was a slut so she deserved what she got. Critics try to paint the woman as the ugly person. The US is a patriarchal country so this explains why women are often put down. Men in power might feel more powerful if they put down the weaker women. This is disgusting behavior in my view.

This mindset of thinking that women choose assholes over nice guys feels like an attempt by men to vent because they don't want to admit that maybe the women chose the stronger candidate and they can't compete with the competitor. I get it, everyone gets jealous. One person's idea of "asshole" is another person's idea of a "gutsy" fella. But sometimes you got to admit that you lost and you can't automatically assume that the woman is a bitch for choosing the "asshole", your competitor. Women are the ones who make the choice, right or wrong, and they often don't know for sure if their partner is abusive or if he'll turn out to be a creepy Scott Petersen or if he's Mr. Right.
#15158851
I don't mean any disrespect to you as a person MistyTiger, but your post above displays a very low level of emotional intelligence.

I feel like what I described in my opening post is an interesting and insightful perspective on a common question that many people seem to ask. That you would interpret it as having something to do with me personally is kind of sad.

Do not make assumptions. Yes, it's true that usually when a guy brings up this issue it's because he personally is feeling frustrated due to being rejected by a woman. It is not a question that I have ever asked in connection to experiences my own life. It is however a common theme that we observe in the world, and a lot of people wonder what the reason is behind it.
#15158869
Some Women don't choose assholes, assholes choose some women because those women are weak willed and can't say enough is enough. This can work both ways of course, I know some men in abusive relationships that are afraid to break it up for fear of being mired in prolonged loneliness, so they take the abuse. For women in this situation finances also come into play, as they're more likely to rely on pappy who is more established or older for shekels. /fred
#15158970
I honestly do not see the point in pointing at women choosing "assholes". Since when does brute equal asshole? Reread the OP again.

Usually when men think about this, they have too much idle time. Me, I am often too busy thinking about my career and my education to consider assholes and women.

Also, way to prove me right. You are weakly belittling me with that "low emotional intelligence" comment...very characteristic of a misogynist. I however do not believe it and I see it for what it is, a feeble attempt to put me in that stupid woman mold. I know who and what I am.

I will do one better than the women you describe. I will not choose a man at all. I choose me. Why should I depend on a man for money and shelter? I am building up my career and I have my own income. I have my own insurance benefits. I earned my confidence. I earned the respect of my colleagues. I do not need a man to tell me I am good. I just am. :D

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