[Puffer Fish]

Chrissy Teigen openness about miscarriage gives strength to other women

https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertai ... 877379002/

Chrissy Teigen shared on Instagram that she and John Legend suffered a pregnancy loss, and more than 7 million people responded.

"It's one of the most horrendous experiences a human being can go through ... The grieving and the sadness is unmeasurable," echoes Dr. Janelle Luk, Medical Director of Generation Next Fertility in New York City and a former OB-GYN.
"Not many people want to talk about loss. It's amazing for someone with Teigen's status to talk about, 'Hey, it happens to me, too.' "

Teigen, often described as the unofficial Queen of Twitter, had kept fans up-to-date in real-time on her difficult and scary third pregnancy.

It has been nearly 20 years since Patricia Walters-Fischer suffered a miscarriage at 19 weeks, but Teigen’s post still offered her some comfort.
"It's not just today that the loss happens," Walters-Fischer said. "She will remember the birthday ... We plan that child's life to the age of 18 ... Those moments continue to mentally happen."

Teigen has long been a public figure many women turn to in difficult times due to her candor about issues related to pregnancy. She has previously detailed her IVF journey as well as her struggle with postpartum depression.

Teigen wrote this on Instagram:

We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before. We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough.​

We never decide on our babies' names until the last possible moment after they're born, just before we leave the hospital. But we, for some reason, had started to call this little guy in my belly Jack. So he will always be Jack to us.

We are so grateful for the life we have, for our wonderful babies Luna and Miles, for all the amazing things we've been able to experience. But everyday can't be full of sunshine. On this darkest of days, we will grieve, we will cry our eyes out. But we will hug and love each other harder and get through it.​

Pictures here:
https://i1.wp.com/www.pmnewsnigeria.com ... C937&ssl=1
https://258tt83z40qrk59imsxnp413-wpengi ... teigen.jpg

I wonder if it's also equally as devastating if a woman simply gets an abortion.
Maybe women are just reluctant to talk about it?

Maybe it was hard in this case because the woman actually saw her baby?
I suppose she simply could have just refused to look. Maybe that would have been easier on her?

Look how this woman fought to get pregnant. Going to the great trouble and expense of IVF treatments. Looks like she really wanted that baby.
Oh, well, I guess she can try again...

This brings us back to the question, is it only devastating for the woman, or rather is there something else more innately tragic in these circumstances?

I mean, if the woman loaded herself up on happy pills and didn't feel a thing emotionally, would everything just be peachy?

Do we only care about what the woman wants?
It's devastating because the woman wanted something and she didn't get it?
Would anyone try to argue that?


Maybe women who get abortions are afraid to LET themselves feel...

[Puffer Fish]

Do women only feel grief when the pregnancy was wanted?


And, assuming a woman does only feel grief when the pregnancy was wanted, should we feel sympathy for them?



If she only feels grief when she wanted the pregnancy, but not when she didn't want it, is the thing she is truly grieving for actually the baby?
If there is a woman like this in that situation, then what she actually cares about is not being able to have a baby, rather than the life of the baby itself.
Thus (if such a woman actually existed) her grieving would not actually be worth much sympathy.



WHY is it devastating?

I mean if the baby is only a thing, a commodity, the woman can always have another one. She can still get what she wants (albeit she'll have to wait another year).
So it seems this can't be said to truly be all just about the woman. (Like some people disingenuously try to claim)