[size=Comic Sans MS]La Casa de las Barajas[/size]@Rancid.............................Senatorial Candidate for the Great state of Texas
@Red_Army........................Russian Mafia Attache
@Potemkin.........................Director of Propaganda and Publicity for the Rancid Campaign
@Skinster...........................Public Policy Advisor for the Rancid Campaign
@Misty_Tiger......................Secretary of the Treasury and Official Accountant and Tax Advisor to Rancid's Campaign
@Jimjam..............................Secretary of State for the Rancid Campaign
@The Immortal Goon...........Behind the Scenes Puppetmaster
@Godstud.............................CNN Reporter for the Toronto Sentinel
Rancid is gearing up to take on the current senator for the state of Texas, Ted Cruz. He is slated to debate Ted Cruz on CNN in three weeks, and he needs to make sure he has the money for his campaign from an undisclosed source, this source had been carefully developed by a student named Red_Army drinking vodka heavily in Russian bars and restaurants, from some Russian Mafia underworld people. Red_Army is his connection to the Russian underworld. Rancid has RA flown in from Anchorage on a special plane. RA abuses his privileges, and brings his fiancee/wife with him to visit Austin sightseeing monuments, and acts like he doesn't care about taxpayer funds knowing Rancid is a conman candidate. But? Rancid is convinced his mottos and his agenda will win over the public, and he won't stand for not respecting images to maintain from Red Army. Rancid has @Potemkin in the office with him since he is in charge of propaganda control. The conversation between RA, Potemkin and Rancid takes place in a big lovely office with a fine view of Austin's downtown and it goes down like this:
Rancid: Red_Army, you need to keep that big pie hole in your face quiet and you need to not blow this off as some little unimportant campaign! I have an image to maintain! Haven't you read the papers lately and seen social media like facebook? If the fine people of Texas think I am uncaring of how I spend my money---er, I mean their money, it will not win me the prize of "Show me the Money". I have to be tightfisted with the money--especially with other's money--that is not my money! I don't care that you haven't left Alaska in years! I have a fucking image to maintain here! And you are supposed to get me a direct line to Vasily Tasilov in Moscow! Who can get me the rubles I crave to have! So I can flood the damn social media world and tweet about how much of an asshole Ted Cruz is! I must win this coming debate on Sunday---Potemkin here says I have a lack of name recognition problem and it might cost me---I got to have my Rancid name with a big gold "R" plastered all over downtown and all over Texas. Your fuck up is not good.
Red_Army: I am sorry Rancid, I am your humble Russian Mafia servant, but I got a big dick and it takes over my brain, that is what attracted me to your campaign in the first place your morning affirmation of "PENIS!" it was sheer genius! I got horny on the plane and afterwards too--only visiting public places brings it down and my wife helped. But just because I am good at eating pussy and using my enormous penis for my own self pleasure, doesn't mean I can't be trusted to do the job right! I got Vasily under my thumb, he is in need of some little stash I have, and he can deliver about two dozen little snot nosed underemployed Russian teen hackers to invade the facebook, twitter, and the google universe, with fake news stories of Ted Cruz molesting big old men in Canadian airport restrooms in no time! I got him by his big huevos for sure! It is a piece of cake Rancid. All taken care of!
Potemkin: Well, you might think it is taken care of Red_Army but Rancid needs you to make a media statement, and say it was a sincere mistake, and for certain purposes unknown to them at the present, you must apologize, and then misdirect to a scandal about Heidi Cruz,about her being ugly, and needing plastic surgery. I did my research and she visited a plastic surgeon recently. These kinds of balls of smoke are critically necessary, to maintain an air of authority and credibility surrounding Rancid's motto, "Show Me the Money" and morning rituals of greeting the world with "Penis!". You can't actually have fun with your penis Red_Army, you just imply that you do....that way people have to use their imagination, and the men and women who need the subconscious archetype of a Penis like Jungian pscyhologists might propose---how should I put it? They wind up with feeling drawn to the message. After all Red_Army we are dealing with reptilian brains and fear is one of the most powerful of all in politics, we must appeal to fear....Goebbels did! So will we! The fear of not having a penis to stroke in the morning...that is what is driving our issue based campaign! You must remain simple, direct, and erect, to capture the fucking voters Red_Army. I have a sacred duty to make sure the message is clear and unequivocal for the masses. Propaganda is imperative for a win!
Rancid: You heard it from the man who knows when to diagnose a penis problem, and when to pump it up. I trust Potemkin's expertise on our message. Get Vasily to let loose the teen hackers in Moscow and get his rubles and supply him his stash. Keep a low profile. Now go and apologize to the press Red_Army. No more frozen brains from Alaska fuck ups for you!
Red_Army (pats his big penis in his pants and sighs): (RA thinks to himself and looks down at his penis and says to himself--I guess you will have to wait). Boss, I can do the job! I will dial Vasily and set up the media flood. Facebook, Google, and Twitter.....will have Rancid's side of the story in Texas all over the place. Ted Cruz's video leak of him molesting old big white men in Canadian airports are in my possession. It is my ace in the hole!
COMMERCIAL BREAK......"La Casa de Las Barajas" continues....... [/size]