living with a wife/husband/partner who has serious clinical depression - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#14989484
It is difficult. Very difficult. Getting up in the morning to face a barrage of hysteria, complaints, imagined problems and tears is debilitating. Takes strength of which we all have limited quantities. Fortunately it ebbs and flows. The ebbs are a relief.
#14989487
jimjam wrote:It is difficult. Very difficult. Getting up in the morning to face a barrage of hysteria, complaints, imagined problems and tears is debilitating. Takes strength of which we all have limited quantities. Fortunately it ebbs and flows. The ebbs are a relief.


Relax, even with the condition she sounds like a fairly normal actual real-life wife and not the happy housewife imaginary crap TV usually puts out.

All you can do is try and make her happy (after all her condition is stopping it) and get her some help. You're not the only man having to put up with this stuff.
#14989492
colliric wrote:Relax, even with the condition she sounds like a fairly normal actual real-life wife and not the happy housewife imaginary crap TV usually puts out.

All you can do is try and make her happy (after all her condition is stopping it) and get her some help. You're not the only man having to put up with this stuff.

I don't like the word "normal" but, fortunately her problem is not common. Suicide lurks. She has been living with this for about 30 years and been through maybe ten different drugs and a good number of doctors some of whom simply are pill Docs and some of whom actually attempt to understand each unique patient. I hope you never experience this situation. I try to be cool and not react in a knee jerk fashion and be supportive.
#14989496
jimjam wrote:I hope you never experience this situation. I try to be cool and not react in a knee jerk fashion and be supportive.


I have never experienced hanging around someone with clinical depression, but I've been friends with Bipolar sufferers.

They go from one extreme to the other very fast. Can be difficult to figure out if they're in "Happy I love everything mode" or "I'll punch you if you dare talk to me mode".

I have mental health issues myself, Social Anxiety Disorder, and it's been causing some trouble for me since childhood. I hate it.
#14989529
I hear you. I took that on again in November 2017. Alcohol was a comorbid factor. So I quit drinking. It's been over a year for me. I find it sort of weird that someone looks to me for inspiration on quitting drinking, but I didn't see any alternative at the time but to set an example. Some people have such sensitive systems, the slightest thing can tip them. It's such a different temperament from my own.

Do you think there is any seasonal affective disorder goes along with it? I was starting to get that when I lived in a condo. I realized I couldn't work at home and not have more sunlight. All my rooms have windows on two walls, except for my kitchen. It made a significant difference for me.

Group support therapy, etc. can be helpful for the PTSD stuff. People tend to replay a trauma in their head over and over, but talking it out with other people can help reframe the issue. Women tend to prefer doing that with other women.
#14989530
My advice would be to focus on finding the cause of it rather than merely enduring it indefinitely. It is likely curable and not by taking happy pills which while possibly helpful will not get to the root of the problem. Unless she had some seriously bad experiences she just can't get over then the chances are that she just has a food intolerance or nutritional deficiency mucking up her hormone levels. An elimination diet is the place to start.
#14989910
jimjam wrote:It is difficult. Very difficult. Getting up in the morning to face a barrage of hysteria, complaints, imagined problems and tears is debilitating. Takes strength of which we all have limited quantities. Fortunately it ebbs and flows. The ebbs are a relief.


Sorry to hear this jimjam. It doesn't sound as though anything will help or change things at this stage of the game. It might help if you just accept it for what it is and try not to let it bring you down too much.

Good luck. :)
#14989959
skinster wrote:Sorry to hear this jimjam. It doesn't sound as though anything will help or change things at this stage of the game. It might help if you just accept it for what it is and try not to let it bring you down too much.

Good luck. :)

Thanks Bud. When I threw this out there I had had an especially difficult day. I was wondering if others had had experience with this stuff and how they deal with it. But, fortunately, it doesn't seem very common.I thank my pofo cyber friends for their empathy :) . My wife is a good hearted woman and most days are good. She has brought grandkids into my life (below) who are delightful. You take the good with the bad in this life and do the best with the cards you are dealt.

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#14990457
jimjam wrote:I was wondering if others had had experience with this stuff and how they deal with it.


My mum is kind of up and down but I've learned to accept it and keep a distance during the down times that direct themselves my way, or respond back in kind which has...now that I think of it, a pretty good success record.

But...I don't like to be that way with her when I know she's suffering and it only comes out when I'm lacking in much patience myself.

Temporary distance is probably the best way to deal with it.

You take the good with the bad in this life and do the best with the cards you are dealt.


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#15044853
jimjam wrote:I don't like the word "normal" but, fortunately her problem is not common. Suicide lurks. She has been living with this for about 30 years and been through maybe ten different drugs and a good number of doctors

Have you experimented with changes in diet and daily exercise? Maybe have her get involved in a religion/Christianity. Any or all of these could be contributing factors.

Also a temporary change of scenery for a week to another location can be a good way to help break someone out of a rut, provided other life changes are made.

Maybe your sex life needs to be addressed and maybe YOU need to get in better shape too.
All of these things could help.

The types of things your wife eats are very very important. Get her on a healthy diet for starters. You go on it too, so she can see you being supportive and so she won't be as tempted. Doing things together is easier. Maybe you two could go on walks together in the neighborhood.

How about her volunteering taking care of children?

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