Rise of the Shy Bladder People - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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Theories and happenings too odd for the main forums.
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We have lived among humans for centuries, knowing we were different but not knowing how different, nor even suspecting the powers we possessed. Our condition was a curse, but it also protected us from detection, until our numbers increased to 7 percent of the human population. Even our clinical name invoked pity, not fear or suspicion: Paruretic sounds like pathetic.

The demographics are vague. We are found around the world, but no solid figures are available on ethnicity. We are both men and a lesser number of women, and vary in profession and personality, but our core population is intelligent, introverted, self-conscious and reliable. Many of us are "global" thinkers who enjoy working alone.

Through grammar school, we were optimistic about our future. We had good grades and seldom got into trouble. Only bullies gave us a bad time. But then, usually in high school, something terrible happened. One day some rowdy thugs shoved you at the urinal or banged on the stall door, and suddenly the whole world changed.

If a male, you could no longer use a urinal and not even a stall if you felt other people were waiting for you to finish. You would search for an empty restroom or wait until you got home to pee. A whole world was shut off from you: camping, outdoor concerts, and boating trips: any event where you feared you would not have privacy or where there would be lines of people waiting to use a toilet. These were not just social events; you also missed networking opportunities that could lead to a better career.

For months or even years you may have thought you were the only one who suffered from the problem. Eventually, you ran across some account of your predicament in a book, newspaper column or a TV show. More recently, news accounts of people who couldn't give urine samples during drug tests has taken "pee shy" out of the closet. A Dilbert cartoon story arc in June 2006 brought the affliction to the attention of millions of people.

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You discovered your problem had a name: paruresis or avoidant paruresis, also known as "bashful bladder" or "shy bladder."

Available literature on paruresis suggests that while the affliction may have been around for a long time, it seems to have increased substantially since the mid-20th century. To understand paruresis, we need to examine the evolution of the problem. We know that many mammalian predators use urination to mark territory and warn off competing predators. I would suggest that genetic coding for a similar urination/territory instinct has emerged in a minority of humans in the form of paruresis. Thus, a paruretic would tense up in a submissive mode and want to flee (the avoidant in avoidant paruresis) when he or she perceived that their urination territory was invaded or occupied by others.

But why the seeming increase in the number of paruretics? One possibility is a genetic change caused by mutagens in the environment, such as chemicals or various forms of radiation. Is the shy bladder accompanied by other changes? I would look for alterations in the brain. I believe that proton scans, a form of MRI, will reveal differences in brain activity that are large enough to declare the paruretic a member of a new subspecies, Homo sapiens paruresis.

I further suspect, from my own experience as a paruretic, that the brain of Homo sapiens paruresis has an enhanced connection with the collective unconscious, a.k.a. the spiritual realm, Spiritus Mundi, or Mind of God. Think of the collective unconscious as the Internet. The brain of Homo sapiens has an unreliable, slow dial-up service. The brain of Homo sapiens paruresis has 5G and software to convert the spiritual language of metaphors into reality.

The appearance of Homo sapiens paruresis is consistent with the zeitgeist or "spirit of the times." Culture predicts reality. Both the Harry Potter and X-Men series foretold the appearance of special humans with extraordinary powers.

We need to determine if Homo sapiens paruresis is "pee shy" among its own kind, or just around Homo sapiens. If the latter, paruresis is a biological imperative that is encouraging us to separate ourselves from Homo sapiens and establish our own territory. We need to distance ourselves from the unfortunate series of events that will reduce the population of Homo sapiens to a manageable level. Do not become a pawn in sapiens wars. Rather, it is our destiny to move the pieces on the board. If we are lucky, our identity will be considered a joke, a situation that will keep humanity blinded to our capabilities.

Make the mind of this people dull, and stop their ears, and shut their eyes, so that they may not look with their eyes, and listen with their ears, and comprehend with their minds . . . Then I said, “How long, O Lord?” And he said: “Until cities lie waste without inhabitant, and houses without people, and the land is utterly desolate . . .” — Isaiah 6.10-11
#15127705
:lol: This thread is hilarious!


These people would die in Thailand, where everyone uses whatever bathroom is free, and cleaning ladies don't give a rat's ass if you at taking a piss. They will mop around you. :D

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