Why do girls always want older boyfriends? - Page 5 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#14891499
Do you see a recurring theme here Paddy14? Look at what Tainari said:

But a lot of the teenage boys I found hopelessly immature and boring.

They also were so scared of girls. No one talks about that but many young men your age Paddy, they just find it hard to strike up conversations with girls...without feeling self conscious. I think older men have more confidence.


Snapdragon said:

It isn't actual age so much as maturity, Paddy.

I, personally, love going out with younger men, but I didn't when I was a girl, as nine times out of ten I found them pathetically immature and boring.


Misty Tiger said:

I have male friends who are in their 40s and 50s mostly. They listen and they keep conversations going. Who likes stiff or dull conversations? Bad conversations are just torture.


Stormsmith said:

No woman is going to date a guy she regards as immature and she sure as hell isn't going to let him in her bed


Ok Paddy. Four women. What is the recurring theme? Boring Immature.

So what do you do about it?

First you have to decide what you are really looking for. Are you just out for any girl who will let you into her bed or are you looking for someone special? I will assume special because if all you want is to get laid, you can spend your date money on a hooker. I did not recommend that you look for the "easy" girls because if you want to be a man you will realize that the easy girls have feelings too and that you are too much of a man to hurt them along with the boys.

So if the deal is that you want a real girlfriend then you have to ask yourself some hard questions. The best question to start with is this: "Of all the things I am interested in and that I bring to the table, what kind of girl would like that?" Perhaps you like plays and theater. Go join a local theater company. You don't have to be an actor, be the prop guy if you like. If you like art, volunteer at an art museum. When you meet a girl there, what can you both talk about? Art. Is it boring? Nope. If the girl thought it was boring, she wouldn't be there. There are clubs or organizations that cater to all tastes. Be sure you genuinely like and want to learn about the one you are considering and go for it.

If I found myself single again, I would do even more charity work. For two reasons. Most importantly it will help others. Then it will help you mature as you see more adult stuff and come to grips with it. As far as meeting women is concerned you will meet kind and generous ones. And they will see you at your most kind and generous. The bonus is that you will not be seen a immature when you are cooking for homeless people (for example) and you will have something in which you are both interested to talk about. You will be working together and conversation is just natural under those circumstances. I have seen this so often. As I type I am thinking about an average looking 5'9" guy who married an over 6' girl (stunning by the way) who he met working at the soup patrol. Outside of the charity there was practically no chance that they would have ever hooked up. Working together, feeding homeless people, they got the opportunity to talk and come to like each other. Love came eventually and then two kids....

Life secret. The most interesting conversationalists are the ones who let you do most of the talking. Learn to ask questions and keep her talking about herself. Don't give her the third degree, just remember that she has important things to say too. And here is another important tip. In a conversation, periods of silence are not death. I am not talking about 10 minutes but you do not need to jump in like a radio announcer every time there is a pause. Reveal things about yourself when it is time. Do not throw your life story and all of your angst on the table over your first burger.

Finally remember that for every person who marries their first love, there are hundreds who don't. Most of them have had experiences like the one you seem to have had. Try to think of it this way. You did not lose. Another guy won. You can't lose something you never had in the first place. If 'she' and the guy stay together you did not lose to an older guy, you lost to the right guy for her. She was obviously not the right girl for you. You'll see.

Jessupjones87 said:

"Why do some girls want older boyfriends?"
Daddy issue's


This is the kind of immaturity that women find completely off-putting. Notice that Misty Tiger jerked a knot in his ass about it right away. I think it is possible to get a girl even if you are boring. You might even get one if you are immature. But you will be highly unlikely to get one if you are disrespectful. At least not one you want for more than a hot minute.
#14891514
Drlee wrote:Are you just out for any girl who will let you into her bed or are you looking for someone special? I will assume special because if all you want is to get laid, you can spend your date money on a hooker.

What an absurd thing to say. Maybe Christians like your self are happy using prostitutes, but many of us are not. I think prostitution should be legal, but that's quite different to saying its something that it should be celebrated. in the modern world very few couples refrain from sex before marriage, so having sex is a first step on finding this so called special person.

The world of sex is brutally unfair. The more sex you have the easier it is to get more. I've always, always found that as soon as I find a women to sleep with me, its way way easier to find a second. Women are attracted to men, who are attractive to women.
#14891516
What an absurd thing to say. Maybe Christians like your self are happy using prostitutes, but many of us are not. I think prostitution should be legal, but that's quite different to saying its something that it should be celebrated.


Really? That is what you got from that line of my post? Get out of the shallow end of the pool. :roll:

The world of sex is brutally unfair.


No it is not. Not after you lose your sense of entitlement to it. It is imminently fair because it is something you share with a willing partner. You do share it with a willing partner, don't you?

The more sex you have the easier it is to get more. I've always, always found that as soon as I find a women to sleep with me, its way way easier to find a second.



Nonsense. You may have more confidence when you are in a relationship. That is why you are not running like a child from the women who were there all along.

Women are attracted to men, who are attractive to women.


Uh. Duh. Now tell us why they are. :roll:

Or better yet read what the women said. My guess is that they know far more on the subject than either you or I do.
#14891607
What did Dustin Hoffman see in the older woman in The Graduate?

Age is only a factor if the person is underage, otherwise it's just what people prefer.

Some men/women prefer much older mates. I met a nice woman in her 40s who preferred men over 60 because she could relax with them, take things slow, and they weren't in s rush.

My mother in law is 15 years older than her second husband(whom she's been with for 15 years). The hotel owner across the street is married to a man of age 28, and she's 45. It happens to both genders for different reasons, I guess, but it's not seen by some as "taboo", since it's perfectly natural.
#14891611
Top eight qualities that are really great in a man of any age:

1) Kindness. Kind men. The greatest they are.

2) Intelligent and considerate. Both together. Divine combination.

3) Unselfish. It is fantastic.

4) Honest and truthful. Love that.

5) Responsible. A great thing.

6) Hard working. A great quality.

7) Giving. This is key to many things in life.

8) Sensitive in nature. I love this quality. Sensitive men are the epitome of beauty in a male for me. A rare quality. And one of the best to see in men.

Get one with all those? Got a great man. Without a doubt!
#14891614
One of my local acquaintances eloped with the wife of a colleague teacher of his dad when he was sixteen. When I met him he was in his seventies and his wife in her nineties.
I remember seeing them for the first time during a fellowship dinner and I thought how nice this chap is bringing his mother to the dinner.
When she passed away they made her twenty years younger in the obituary.
#14891621
My favourite ex is 5 years younger than I

He was a straight A philosophy major, coupled with something else. One thing we never lacked was interesting conversation. And he had a quirky sense of humour. Strong on common decency, which isn't so common in men in university. 6'1', blonde. I wonder whom he wound up marrying.
#14891623
Tainari88 wrote:See here you little chamaco of young age @Paddy14.

When I met my husband I was sixteen years old. My first thoughts of him were, "Who is that older guy with the funny shoes looking kind of dorky." He was five and a half years older than I was. Which made him about twenty two at the time. For a sixteen year old girl? He was ANCIENT.

I did not have much in common with my sixteen year old peers who were males at school. At least for me. I was a bit of a bookworm. Loved reading. But? Many of the boys at school were boring conversationalists. But it depends on the girl. I had an older man interested in me very young about sixteen too. But he was old for real. In his forties and married. I had zero attraction to that old dude. But a lot of the teenage boys I found hopelessly immature and boring.

They also were so scared of girls. No one talks about that but many young men your age Paddy, they just find it hard to strike up conversations with girls...without feeling self conscious. I think older men have more confidence.

I also think teen boy sexuality is so intense that it makes them kind of desperate for some kind of woman. And they get or are less picky than they should be with who they wind up sexually intimate with in their youth.

If you like a girl your age? Approach her. Always with respect and an open and friendly attitude. That is always best. Be yourself. You have nothing to lose? Got nothing to lose little Paddy14. I have a soft spot now for boys. Got two boys. Though both of them don't seem to need any advice with girls so far. Lol. I guess I am lucky.


Thanks for all that advice @Tainari88. I have no probs talking to my mates, but I don't know what to say to girls. Like they don't seem interested in sport, or any of the computer games me and my mates play, or the books and movies we are into. I know one much older chick (she's the sister of a mate) who is very interesting to talk with and knows heaps, who I'd love to have as a gf, but even though she's very nice to me and even seems interested in some of the things I say - I'm learning the piano and music theory - she treats me like her little brother.

And I'm not really scared of girls, but I'm scared they will think me a totally boring nerd, so I try to find things they will be interested in - like movies and music and stuff, but it never goes anywhere - just sort of fades away into "Yeh great - c'ya!" I see other guys really hitting on chicks they fancy, and I don't do that - so maybe that's a mistake, cos they think I'm not interested.

Neway, this must be totally boring to everyone here, but I just thought I'd ask. Cheers to everyone for your advice. :cheers:
#14891627
Drlee wrote:Really? That is what you got from that line of my post? Get out of the shallow end of the pool. :roll:
So no response to my main point then.

No it is not. Not after you lose your sense of entitlement to it. It is imminently fair because it is something you share with a willing partner. You do share it with a willing partner, don't you?

Why do you automatically assume that my observations of unfairness, are from me coming off the worse? No on a number of occasions I've thought it was unfair on the other guy. it also comes from my own desire / commitments. Some women I don't want to have sex with. Some I want to have sex with. And some I want to have sex with and am happy to be committed and devoted. My affections (for what they're worth) are not given the basis of deservingness.

When I say the world of sex is unfair I 'm not blaming it on some evil group of women. No the unfairness is perpetrated by women and men including me. But its not just sex and sexual relationships. How good looking you are, affects your chance of being convicted of a crime. If convicted it affects the length of your sentence. It affects you chance of getting a job, your chances of promotion and your pay grade. You can be the best actor or actress in the world, but if you're not physically attractive you'll never get the top parts period.

Nonsense. You may have more confidence when you are in a relationship. That is why you are not running like a child from the women who were there all along.

You seem to imagine you know an awful lot about me. Reflecting back, actually it was reading psychology literature on attractiveness, that caused a crisis of faith in leftism for me, not some personal unhappiness, deserving or not.
#14891630
@Rich, Drlee is using the you in a general connotation. Why do you seem to think he's talking about you personally?

Life is never "fair". People get what they strive for and want.

Not DOING a crime is the best prevention to being convicted. Many great people were not amazing looking.

Yes, there is some bias given to people who look good, but that's because life isn't fair. Get over it.
#14892022
Paddy14 wrote:Thanks for all that advice @Tainari88. I have no probs talking to my mates, but I don't know what to say to girls. Like they don't seem interested in sport, or any of the computer games me and my mates play, or the books and movies we are into. I know one much older chick (she's the sister of a mate) who is very interesting to talk with and knows heaps, who I'd love to have as a gf, but even though she's very nice to me and even seems interested in some of the things I say - I'm learning the piano and music theory - she treats me like her little brother.

And I'm not really scared of girls, but I'm scared they will think me a totally boring nerd, so I try to find things they will be interested in - like movies and music and stuff, but it never goes anywhere - just sort of fades away into "Yeh great - c'ya!" I see other guys really hitting on chicks they fancy, and I don't do that - so maybe that's a mistake, cos they think I'm not interested.

Neway, this must be totally boring to everyone here, but I just thought I'd ask. Cheers to everyone for your advice. :cheers:


Maybe I am old fashioned Paddy14, but I would never trust a much older woman who would sleep with a very young man in his teens still. I find it repulsive in general. Say a woman in her thirties and forties and married with kids having sex with a fourteen or thirteen year old boy? YUCK. Same for an old man with a very young girl. Young people can fall prey to such people who are mentally unfit in my honest opinion.

I think one should wait for you being mature. I think some boys should just be true to their instincts and try to develop themselves naturally until all falls into place. Don't force anything Paddy14. Relationships should be natural things.

I would again not trust a person over 20 years older than you are right now initiating a sexual relationship. If you are between 13-16 and are being approached by someone a lot older than you? Don't trust them at all! A bunch of sick pedophiles are out there in internet land. I don't trust them at all.
#14892038
Not all girls want older boyfriends or husbands, but those who do want it for stability.
I know many girls who want their mates to be atleast 5-10 years older than them while they're in their early 20s, for the simple fact that they'll then be more established and stable when they engage with them. They don't want "players" if so to say.
#14892094
Speaking on behalf of myself, I prefer older men because I'm attracted to people I can learn from. My most recent relationship was with someone 10 years older than me. The oldest guy I dated was at 29/30, he was 53. :eek:

I don't know if all women prefer men who are older but I would guess it's due to how women tend to mature quicker than men. I remember at school girls were attracted to guys who were in the years above ours.

This is obviously not the case for all women. One friend of mine, me and our mutual frands always mock her for dating boys that have a tendency to look like young....girls. :D
#14892192
Tainari88 wrote:Maybe I am old fashioned Paddy14, but I would never trust a much older woman who would sleep with a very young man in his teens still. I find it repulsive in general. Say a woman in her thirties and forties and married with kids having sex with a fourteen or thirteen year old boy? YUCK. Same for an old man with a very young girl. Young people can fall prey to such people who are mentally unfit in my honest opinion.

I think one should wait for you being mature. I think some boys should just be true to their instincts and try to develop themselves naturally until all falls into place. Don't force anything Paddy14. Relationships should be natural things.

I would again not trust a person over 20 years older than you are right now initiating a sexual relationship. If you are between 13-16 and are being approached by someone a lot older than you? Don't trust them at all! A bunch of sick pedophiles are out there in internet land. I don't trust them at all.


Thanks again for the good advice, and no, I couldn't do it with someone 35 or 40 - that would be like sleeping with my mum or my aunty! But I do find some wimmens like ten years older than me, pretty hot! :D Like it's not just that they're hott looking, but they are also so cool and like together. And the fact that they are a bit old doesn't take away from those things.

We have this German lady who comes in to teach us deutsche Sprache at school, and she must be nearly 30 - but I still get embarrassed and sometimes stammer when she talks to me, like she's so totally sick. :roll:

And yeh, I know about paedos - that's why I'm not allowed to give any identifying info about myself on the 'net, and I'm not on face book any more. But I think paedos are into little kids and young girls - not 14 year old guys, so it shouldn't be a problem. :)
#14892200
Tainari88 wrote:I would again not trust a person over 20 years older than you are right now initiating a sexual relationship. If you are between 13-16 and are being approached by someone a lot older than you? Don't trust them at all! A bunch of sick pedophiles are out there in internet land. I don't trust them at all.


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