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Drlee wrote:You love her but you are not willing to wear a mask or get vaccinated to court her properly? Well it would appear, not very much.
Never do this. Insist on chivalry. Pay even if she does not want to. If she won't let you pay she is saying that she is not that into you. Perhaps.
Add to this that Iran is, to say the least, a traditional country and on dates men pay. It is their custom. Assuming you both know that this is a date. And with Persians you have to be careful of Taarof. Her insistence on paying may be participating in this elaborate 'charade'. In the end you are supposed to pay though she may refuse to let you three times. Read up on this if you are not familiar.
If she is vaccinated, you get vaccinated. Small price to pay to ensure you do not kill your one true love. Faint heart never won fair maiden.
Igor Antunov wrote:I'm not 12 no puppy love here. I'm simply seeing a potential mate and it could blossom. I'm not injecting potential poison into my veins over it. She's not vaccinated and I wouldn't even if she was. No rush.
And yes, this is how it's done. I ain't falling for the old 'let's split the bill' meme. Either I pay/lead or it's over.
Drlee wrote:Never do this. Insist on chivalry. Pay even if she does not want to. If she won't let you pay she is saying that she is not that into you. Perhaps.
wat0n wrote:Honestly, in our generation I'd say it's the other way around. You never know if she's going on this date with you to get a free meal (yes, that happens. Particularly in college).
Instead, you offer to pay. If she offers to split or pay herself, you insist and then do whatever she wants. Take it as a good sign.
Igor Antunov wrote:Pushovers get the boot. I've gone down this route before, unless you're looking to hook up with a much older sugar mamma this comes across as feeble. Yes, insist, but that should be the end of it.
wat0n wrote:That's what I mean - you only insist once. If she wants to split or pay herself, okay, that's her choice at this point.
snapdragon wrote:Just do the opposite of everything dr lee suggests. I hate the way he always brings his wife into these sort of topics and shows her off as if she was a prized possession, instead of his life partner.He's making a point, and you thinking otherwise is you projecting, and utterly disrespectful. I've never heard Drlee refer to his wife as a possession and he always counts himself very lucky to have found such a wonderful life-partner. I'm also lucky and infinitely blessed to have a beautiful and amazingly kind wife 20 years younger than me. Men who think of their wives as possessions, are not in love with them, but themselves.
snapdragon wrote:If you insist on paying for a night out, then most women would assume, usually correctly, that you feel this also pays for a shag afterwards. Don’t insist on anything. You’ve no right.Yes, but most men don't think that buying dinner, or anything, gives them a right to a shag afterwards. For most men, it's an indication that they are self-sufficient. Insisting on anything like sex, after buying dinner or anything would be unethical and inexcusable. Showing a woman you respect her is how you gain her trust and affection, not getting grumpy because she isn't "putting out", or any such nonsense.
snapdragon wrote:Be aware this is a dangerous world for women. We don’t feel safe in it. We take every precaution we can to protect ourselves from predatory men without it ruining our leisure time. We always have and we always will.Not all women feel that way, but I can certainly understand why some do.
Godstud wrote:Showing a woman you respect her
snapdragon wrote:Of course such partnerships do exist and they’re very happy ones, too. Some women have a need to feel protected and some men to protect their women and good luck to them, but I don’t like to see it. It makes life more difficult for those of us who don’t need or want that.That's like saying it bothers you when a fat man and a slim woman are together, or vice versa. I've seen older women with younger men. If they're both happy and consenting adults, then good for them. It has no effect on what you do, or who you choose to be with, atall.
Godstud wrote:I'd have walked out
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