Men see the lost cause of dating (girls don't like men) will it actully cause society to fall apart? - Page 5 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#15200057
Drlee wrote:You love her but you are not willing to wear a mask or get vaccinated to court her properly? Well it would appear, not very much.



Never do this. Insist on chivalry. Pay even if she does not want to. If she won't let you pay she is saying that she is not that into you. Perhaps.

Add to this that Iran is, to say the least, a traditional country and on dates men pay. It is their custom. Assuming you both know that this is a date. And with Persians you have to be careful of Taarof. Her insistence on paying may be participating in this elaborate 'charade'. In the end you are supposed to pay though she may refuse to let you three times. Read up on this if you are not familiar.

If she is vaccinated, you get vaccinated. Small price to pay to ensure you do not kill your one true love. Faint heart never won fair maiden.


I'm not 12 no puppy love here. I'm simply seeing a potential mate and it could blossom. I'm not injecting potential poison into my veins over it. She's not vaccinated and I wouldn't even if she was. No rush.

And yes, this is how it's done. I ain't falling for the old 'let's split the bill' meme. Either I pay/lead or it's over.
#15200059
Igor Antunov wrote:I'm not 12 no puppy love here. I'm simply seeing a potential mate and it could blossom. I'm not injecting potential poison into my veins over it. She's not vaccinated and I wouldn't even if she was. No rush.

And yes, this is how it's done. I ain't falling for the old 'let's split the bill' meme. Either I pay/lead or it's over.

Hopefully this girl straightens you out, if you make it work.

You do have some incell tendencies.

Cherish this opportunity, and if it does work, don't give an internet play-by-play. And if it doesn't work, don't give an internet play-by-play.

Live your life, man.

I am happy for you though you found a girl you are interested in.

I hope to do the same.
#15200061
Drlee wrote:Never do this. Insist on chivalry. Pay even if she does not want to. If she won't let you pay she is saying that she is not that into you. Perhaps.


Honestly, in our generation I'd say it's the other way around. You never know if she's going on this date with you to get a free meal (yes, that happens. Particularly in college).

Instead, you offer to pay. If she offers to split or pay herself, you insist and then do whatever she wants. Take it as a good sign.
#15200062
wat0n wrote:Honestly, in our generation I'd say it's the other way around. You never know if she's going on this date with you to get a free meal (yes, that happens. Particularly in college).

Instead, you offer to pay. If she offers to split or pay herself, you insist and then do whatever she wants. Take it as a good sign.



Pushovers get the boot. I've gone down this route before, unless you're looking to hook up with a much older sugar mamma this comes across as feeble. Yes, insist, but that should be the end of it.

Context matters. I drive a $110,000 car. She drives a beat up $500 car. This can't be allowed to happen. What she wants in this specific case (paying for a meal) is irrelevant. I'd look like an epic muppet splitting the bill.
Last edited by Igor Antunov on 28 Nov 2021 06:58, edited 5 times in total.
#15200063
Igor Antunov wrote:Pushovers get the boot. I've gone down this route before, unless you're looking to hook up with a much older sugar mamma this comes across as feeble. Yes, insist, but that should be the end of it.


That's what I mean - you only insist once. If she wants to split or pay herself, okay, that's her choice at this point.
#15200064
wat0n wrote:That's what I mean - you only insist once. If she wants to split or pay herself, okay, that's her choice at this point.


If you're both poor sure. But if it makes zero financial sense you keep insisting until you pay. If you can't reason with her at this stage over something so trivial and simple then it's already over.

I've never had to split the bill before, even with Aussie chicks. This is alien to me and really unlikely to even come up with a woman from a highly conservative household.

Dating is stupid and I hate it. It's best to treat is as something else entirely, avoid paid activities outside of the trivial. Problem is there's nothing to do here and nowhere to go even at the best of times. I'm cut off from 90% of potential dates because they're all degenerate alcoholics that go to the pub and club regularly even in their late 20's and hit the wall by 30. This is a rare potential gem I'm gonna put some thought into this.
#15200074
Not sure about what's wrong with splitting if she actually wants to :eh:

If you think she's just testing you, you probably wanna fail that test.

If you insist because you think that makes you an alpha male, well, I guess that's another matter. You're caring way too much about that shit, when you should not.

If you don't like her to insist on splitting because you want a conservative girl then you just move on as that will be an issue sooner or later. I'm no fan of feminism at all, but I can stand dating a feminist as long as she's all for being a strong, independent woman even when it means we gotta split, and not just when it suits her purse. And yes some people are like that even when their financial situation is good.
#15200076
I was feeling quite cheerful when I got up. Made a perfect cuppa and decided to flip through this. Now I’m feeling depressed. Thank you, guys(!)

Just do the opposite of everything dr lee suggests. I hate the way he always brings his wife into these sort of topics and shows her off as if she was a prized possession, instead of his life partner.

If you insist on paying for a night out, then most women would assume, usually correctly, that you feel this also pays for a shag afterwards. Don’t insist on anything. You’ve no right.

Be aware this is a dangerous world for women. We don’t feel safe in it. We take every precaution we can to protect ourselves from predatory men without it ruining our leisure time. We always have and we always will.
#15200078
snapdragon wrote:Just do the opposite of everything dr lee suggests. I hate the way he always brings his wife into these sort of topics and shows her off as if she was a prized possession, instead of his life partner.
He's making a point, and you thinking otherwise is you projecting, and utterly disrespectful. I've never heard Drlee refer to his wife as a possession and he always counts himself very lucky to have found such a wonderful life-partner. I'm also lucky and infinitely blessed to have a beautiful and amazingly kind wife 20 years younger than me. Men who think of their wives as possessions, are not in love with them, but themselves.

snapdragon wrote:If you insist on paying for a night out, then most women would assume, usually correctly, that you feel this also pays for a shag afterwards. Don’t insist on anything. You’ve no right.
:eh: Yes, but most men don't think that buying dinner, or anything, gives them a right to a shag afterwards. For most men, it's an indication that they are self-sufficient. Insisting on anything like sex, after buying dinner or anything would be unethical and inexcusable. Showing a woman you respect her is how you gain her trust and affection, not getting grumpy because she isn't "putting out", or any such nonsense.

snapdragon wrote:Be aware this is a dangerous world for women. We don’t feel safe in it. We take every precaution we can to protect ourselves from predatory men without it ruining our leisure time. We always have and we always will.
Not all women feel that way, but I can certainly understand why some do.
#15200082
Godstud wrote:Showing a woman you respect her

Misreading the signs

It's not always that easy.

Once a woman offered me her bed, and as she was getting undressed, she said, "You can do it if you want." with such lack of enthusiasm, I didn't.

The next morning she treated me as if I had insulted her and threw me out of the house.


:lol:
#15200084
Men are the way they are because women have made them that way. In the last six thousand years there's been some vile agrarian and animal husbandry patriarchal societies, Muslim and Confucian spring immediately to mind. Even within those, women probably achieved more sexual agency than people imagine. But over all of our human evolution women have had a massive influence in which genes, which alleles get selected for reproduction in the next generation. Its time to accept that what the liberals refer to as toxic masculinity is in fact for many women intoxicating masculinity. Men are the way they are in very large part because that is the way women have selected them to be.

But before I say anything more about women, I better say something about men, less the liberals dishonestly seek to portray me as a misogynist. To understand men's sexuality look at gay men. Gay men are not that different to heterosexual men except that they are attracted to men. When we look at Gay men we get a chance to study men with the complications of women taken out of the picture. And its not a pretty picture.

When I was younger I was incredibly attractive to gay men, God if only I had been just half as attractive to heterosexual women as I was to gay men, what a tragedy. There was a time when I did quite a bit of hitching and part of the reason I gave up it up, was because gay men were always coming on to me and if they didn't come on I could feel the vibe. When you're in a truck, parked up, in the middle of a dark rainy night, somewhere in the middle of France, with a homosexual truck driver carrying nearly twice your body mass, it doesn't make for the most relaxing time, I can tell you. So I feel like I have some understanding of what it can be like for women dating men.

Anyway as I see it our sexualities, whether typical heterosexual male or typical heterosexual women are in constant tension and conflict with what we conceptualise as "civilised", our sexual drives are in constant conflict with our ethics and morals. This was true in the past under traditional sexual mores, which were riven with endemic hypocrisy. But it is also true under the new emerging Cultural Marxist dispensation, the new hegemonic social-moral cultural order. it is also riven with endemic hypocrisy.

The demand for women's equity, not merely equality but equity, in salaries with men, or least with men stigmatised with the label of being "White", is in flat out contradiction with the desire of most heterosexual women to couple with a man who is richer, has more power and has higher status than themselves.
#15200086
@Godstud

Dr lee doesn’t actually call her his possession, but he does show off his wife. He does. I wish he wouldn’t. Her age is immaterial.

It makes him look like a sugar daddy and his partner a trophy wife, and I have enough respect for him to believe that isn’t necessarily the case.

Of course such partnerships do exist and they’re very happy ones, too. Some women have a need to feel protected and some men to protect their women and good luck to them, but I don’t like to see it. It makes life more difficult for those of us who don’t need or want that.

Also, I wasn’t intending to give the impression women are constantly looking over their shoulders expecting to be attacked, but we’re aware it happens a lot and act accordingly. Since Sarah Everard was tortured, raped and murdered by an off duty policeman who pretended to be arresting her for breaking covid regulations, we’ve had to up our game. For the first time in my life I carry an alarm.

And unfortunately, nine men out ten pay for a night out in the expectation of repayment in kind. If you just want to pay, then fine. Say so. I’d like to pay for this, no strings. If she says, thanks but I’d rather we split the bill, then that’s fine too.
Serious question to our male posters . why would you want to pay?
#15200087
snapdragon wrote:Of course such partnerships do exist and they’re very happy ones, too. Some women have a need to feel protected and some men to protect their women and good luck to them, but I don’t like to see it. It makes life more difficult for those of us who don’t need or want that.
:eh: That's like saying it bothers you when a fat man and a slim woman are together, or vice versa. I've seen older women with younger men. If they're both happy and consenting adults, then good for them. It has no effect on what you do, or who you choose to be with, atall.

@snapdragon Why would we want to pay for a date?

I think most of us men are a bit old-fashioned and it's an indicator that you have more than two coins to rub together. Strangely enough, most women don't want a man who can't take care of himself, let alone her. Despite what you might think, saying you live at home with your mom will lose you a date more often than not. Self-reliance is a characteristic that most women like in a man.
#15200089
Godstud wrote:I'd have walked out

I didn't walk out: I needed the bed.

Anyway, I thought we could always take up where we left off when she was sober enough to consent. But, of course, she remembers I didn't penetrate her and takes it as an insult. It appears she was so drunk that night she couldn't recall she had a change of mind.


:lol:
Last edited by ingliz on 28 Nov 2021 19:58, edited 1 time in total.
#15200095
@Godstud

First of all, I only have a problem when men or women show off their partners as if they’re a prize they’ve won for being so wonderful. It’s different to simply being proud of your partner, for whatever reason. Although, personally speaking, I’d rather it was for an achievement they’ve made , rather than for being slim and beautiful or whatever.

It is a bit old fashioned to think you need to take care of a woman, but I’m with you with being self reliant. My daughter’s last relationship broke up because her partner was a mummy’s boy. She found it touching at first, but that wore off when she discovered he couldn’t do the least little thing for himself or make any decisions without her approval. Very unattractive.
He was a nice guy otherwise, so it was a shame.
#15200096
@Rich

I know what you mean about gay men. I once went to a gay club because I needed to get some information from a manager at work and that’s where he was. In a queue of men waiting for their turn at a glory hole.
It did alter my perception of him afterwards, which made him angry. He told me roundly I had no right to judge his lifestyle and that I didn’t understand and had no way of understanding his life. He wasn’t wrong, but there it was. I couldn’t feel the same. I would’ve felt exactly the same if it was a woman’s arse waiting on the other side. Probably more so, as some things I’d rather not know, unless I could be affected by it.
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