[Drlee]

@snapdragon

And unfortunately, nine men out ten pay for a night out in the expectation of repayment in kind. If you just want to pay, then fine. Say so. I’d like to pay for this, no strings. If she says, thanks but I’d rather we split the bill, then that’s fine too.
Serious question to our male posters . why would you want to pay?

I was going to pen a long response to your comments about my relationship but I think I will let it go.

I do want to say this though. Your notion that allowing a woman to pay for 1/2 of the date will cause a man to not want to have sex, is very naive.

I know of exactly no men who actually believe that the price of sex is spaghetti and meatballs. The idea is preposterous.

[ingliz]

[tomskunk]

@snapdragon

I'm with @Drlee on this one. Sex costs A WHOLE LOT MORE than spaghetti and meatballs. Dudes looking for cheap sex just aren't going to find it. No such thing as cheap sex. I have never in my life ever got cheap sex. You will always pay for it, someway, somehow in one form or another. It's also important as a guy to always pay for the meal and insist on it with no strings attached. She might not decide to go on a second date with you even after paying for the meal but don't worry about it. It's part of being a man.

A true man is always a gentleman and always pays for the meal on a date. Never make the mistake of not paying or splitting the bill. You always pay the full tab. And don't be afraid to be decisive and pick a place to eat. Don't ask her where she wants to go. Just pick a place and be decisive. If she doesn't like it, pick another place and ask her if she likes that place. Do that until you have picked a place she likes and then go with that place.

[ingliz]

Dudes looking for cheap sex just aren't going to find it.

It all depends on where you look and how skilled you are at recognising the signals given off by women who want no-strings-attached casual sex.

When I was a bit of a dog before I got married and settled down, before they had apps such as Tinder, a time when it all had to be done face to face, I had lots of cheap sex. Of course, this was the 70s, and everyone was at it like rabbits, but I doubt much has changed today.

[tomskunk]

@ingliz

Just remember there are plenty of STDs out there you can catch and they are not exactly cheap. Plus, a pregnant woman who bears your child isn't cheap either.

[tomskunk]

@ingliz

Plus, you have to consider, most women want a commitment from you once you have sex with them even if you don't get her pregnant or catch an STD. Commitment isn't cheap either.

[ingliz]

plenty of STDs out there you can catch and they are not exactly cheap

NHS, free at the point of use.

most women want a commitment from you once you have sex with them

As I said, you have to be skilled in recognising the signals given off by women who only want to scratch an itch.

Anyway, this is all a bit academic, reliving lost youth when I've been faithful to one woman - I am a happily married man - this past 42 years.

[tomskunk]

@ingliz

I don't know, most women I know who have sex generally want commitment in return or "get attached" so to speak (which means they want commitment if they "get attached"). I prefer not to have sex with a woman if I were a single man unless I was willing to give them that commitment in return. I don't want a woman "getting attached" to me unless I am willing to give that commitment if I were a single man.

It just saves a lot of headaches and you don't have to worry about playing with her emotions. A little bit of pleasure isn't worth the headaches unless you are willing to pay something for it in return either in terms of commitment, catching an STD, or paying for supporting a child and hopefully being a real father for the child in addition to financial support.

[ingliz]

@tomskunk

It seems you are an incurable romantic. Sometimes, hard as it is for you to get your head around, the sex act is performed just to satisfy an appetite, an appetite for sex, an appetite shared by both parties, man and woman.

[Potemkin]

@tomskunk

It seems you are an incurable romantic. Sometimes, hard as it is for you to get your head around, the sex act is performed just to satisfy an appetite, an appetite for sex, an appetite shared by both parties, man and woman.

I bet you sported a porn 'tache back in the 70s, @ingliz. Come on, admit it!

[snapdragon]

Load of rubbish. Unless the man is very stupid he will get that her refusal to allow him to pay for her meal is drawing a very firm line through what he is hoping to have for afters - whether they’re at park chinois or Pizza Hut. If you want to pay for some reason which has nothing to do with getting her knickers off later, then say so. Adding a simple ,no strings attached, to your offer will do it.

No need for a long response, dr lee. I don’t know anything about your relationship with your wife, but you often show off about her being a lot younger than you, which is somehow supposed to convince people you know a lot about women. You don’t.

Don’t ever insist on doing anything when on a date, gentlemen.

You’re with a person ; not a simple minded moron who cannot make her own decisions. Or at least, don’t assume that’s what she is.

I asked my husband if he has ever given dating advice to the young guys at work. He looked at me as if I was mad. Trust me, said he, they really don’t need it.

What about the shy ones? Would you ask the girls you work with if they’d go out with them?

He said he’d keep well out of it. Sounds sensible to me.

Edit: Crantag, you should definitely go to that square dance. Look on it as a bit of exercise if nothing else.

Oh, tomskunk. Just ask her if such and such a place suits her and if not , does she have any ideas of her own where you could eat? Still , at least you are asking and not telling.

[ingliz]

I bet you sported a porn 'tache back in the 70s, @ingliz.

Didn't everyone?

[snapdragon]

Oh my god. That’s never peter wyngarde?
Complete with hairy chest and medallion

[ingliz]

@snapdragon

Yes it is.

Of course, I went for the rougher stubbled chin to complete the look (And you can forget the gold medallion and permed hair).

They seemed to like a bit of rough - Lady Chatterley fantasies?

[snapdragon]

Meh. I was into Robert plant big time. Cor.

Saw him on the one show the other night. He looks more like catweazle these days. I couldn’t tell if he still shoved the bit of hose pipe down his trousers, but his cock rocking had turned into crock rocking. He could barely move his legs.

He can still belt them out, though. That voice.

[Tainari88]

Well @ingliz you made me laugh very hard with your stories of sexual non-adventures. Lol.

I don't know what they expect in the UK about who pays for what? But? In Latin American culture the male pays most of the time or all of the time. If he doesn't he is seen as not being a caballero. And that is that. I never paid for anything when I was dating long long ago in the Jurassic period.

But, young people here are still surprisingly in Mexico kind of traditional and the men still want to pay for their girlfriend's dinners and movies and tickets to concerts and events. It is more formal of a society. People still dress up for Sunday dinners and eating out even if it is not an expensive dinner. I really love traditional Mexican social etiquette.

I find people who are just having fun. But, many young people can't afford weddings or to get married and spend like they would have in the past. It is sad. People that are young should be able to date and get married and afford their first studio apartment together and a vespa at least. Lol. But? Low wages make it hard to move out of their parents' homes.

[tomskunk]

@snapdragon

Oh, tomskunk. Just ask her if such and such a place suits her and if not , does she have any ideas of her own where you could eat? Still , at least you are asking and not telling.

I didn't know you're a woman. Normally, when I was single, in the past, when a woman accepted a date with me, I just decisively picked a place and said "We are going to this place" without initially asking her. If she objected, I would ask her what kind of foods she liked and then picked a restaurant in that category and went to that one instead. If she still objected, I would discuss which place she likes and then just go to that one. But generally, I liked to pick a nice classy place. You got to pick a nice classy place.

[tomskunk]

@snapdragon

I also opened the car door for the woman too on a first date. It's how my old man taught me to do it.

[snapdragon]

It sounds like a lot of unnecessary aggro.
Times have changed and what might once have been seen as being masterful and decisive can now be seen as a being bloody cheeky.
Whatever works for you -although, judging by your posts it’s not working that well?

Aww, you sound very sweet, tomskunk. I hope you find a nice girl if that’s what you’re looking for.

Edit again. Seems as if you’re talking about the past and you’re now happily with someone.

[tomskunk]

@tomskunk

Yes, I am a married man.