Men see the lost cause of dating (girls don't like men) will it actully cause society to fall apart? - Page 8 - Politics Forum.org | PoFo

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#15200257
@snapdragon

I understand your position and it makes sense. I generally expect to pay the bill if I go out on a date and my goal is to get to know the woman not to sleep with her. I don't like to sleep with a woman I don't know too well. That's very risky for a guy to do that. The date is simply to get to know the woman better and to see if we like each other. If we don't, it's no big deal. If I encounter a woman who wants to split the bill, I will make clear that me paying the bill is no big deal and no strings are attached. If she still insists, then we'll split the bill. My goal is not to make her feel uncomfortable but simply for her to enjoy herself and for me to get to know her. Just because a woman is a stunning beauty doesn't mean she doesn't have STDs nor does it mean that she is emotionally and mentally stable. And even if she doesn't have STDs, and she is a stunning beauty but is emotionally and mentally unstable after getting to know her better I won't sleep with her because I can't commit to that.
#15200259
Godstud, stop digging.

It’s not difficult. If it’s that important to a man that he pays for the whole date, despite her reluctance, then say why or make it plain there’s no strings. Honestly, what the hell is wrong with that? Why can’t you get it?

Otherwise, just accept she doesn’t want you to . Don’t insist.

And please don’t give your adult daughter the idea that she can confidently judge a man by his behaviour when on a date.

That ain’t necessarily so.
#15200260
@snapdragon

Moreover, if I were a single man, I wouldn't mind dating a feminist as long as we get along well. Feminists generally tend to be well-educated and big contributors to any household they choose to be part of. Not that I would "free ride" of her contributions to the household as I would want to contribute as well. She could make tons more money than me too and it wouldn't bother me as long as I am working and contributing too.
#15200262
@snapdragon And please don’t give your adult daughter the idea that she can confidently judge a man by his behaviour when on a date.

That ain’t necessarily so.


Oh really? Tell us how it is that she is supposed to judge him at all if not when the are together for the first few times? :roll:

Way to teach your daughters to have contempt for men. I don't mean to gaslight you but you must have hit a string of really unlucky (or poor) choices.

I work with a ton of fine young men. Men that your daughters or any other women would be fortunate to date. This does not mean they are not young men and all that entails. It does mean that in all but the rare outlier they are not looking to fuck women for money. Good grief.

If you teach your daughters how to set limits and behave according to those limits they will be fine.

I know many men today who are so terrified of women that they have simply decided that dating is too risky. I know a very fine doctor who could have any number of women just for the snap of his fingers, who mentioned this to me not long ago.

I have no patience for mistreating women. I chewed out a doctor just the other day for making an unfortunate comment to one of our female volunteers. That said. Everyone wins when love prevails. Turn dating into an exercise in suspicion and the presumption of evil intent and you are doing no one any favors.

As for your assertion that all women have had bad experiences, I am going to simply reply...so have men. Reasonable caution is always wise. But the outright expectation that the guy who wants to buy your dinner thinks he gets to have sex as long as he leaves an appropriate tip is absurd.

Maybe I know a lot more men than you do but I have never in my 70 years heard a guy say, "I sprung for lobster and she shut me down". I have heard guys who have tried very hard to impress a woman say, "I really tried but she was just not into me." Sometimes they were angry that they dated someone for several weeks just to hear that. I don't blame them. But it was certainly not about the cost of a meal FGS.

Try teaching your daughter this. When you go out with a man, it is possible that he is head over heels for you even if you are not. So be kind and tell him soon. Nobody needs a date for Friday night.
#15200274
I don’t teach my daughters anything , because they’re clued up young women.

But if I were to teach them, it would be to avoid men who believe they can get any woman they want by snapping their fingers, only they’re too scared to do that for some unfathomable reason of their own.

He not only sounds incredibly vain, but also neurotic.

Whether you like it or not, there are a lot of men out there who believe that by paying for a night out, they are owed sex afterwards. They are not branded with a 666.

Also, to answer your question, women find out what kind of man she’s dating as time passes. How long that takes varies.

Attempting to override her wish to pay for herself makes any man appear to be a control freak. It’s not a good look.

Control freaks are best avoided.
#15200297
@snapdragon

What about a guy who doesn't show up on time? I did that to my current wife and she was not happy :lol: . Somehow, I still ended up marrying her. I should have justified myself to her by saying "don't be such a control freak!" I don't think that would have gone over too well with her though. I apologized to her at the time. But she wasn't happy about being kept waiting. I didn't do it intentionally, I just got caught up in my work at the time and forgot about the date!

This brings me to an interesting question. Let's say you are a single woman and you insisted on splitting the check. The guy agrees and you split the check. He tells you he honestly had a great time and would like to see you again. You agree, but then the second time you go out with him you are kept waiting but he does eventually show up and looks forward to going out with you again that night for the second date. He explains something unexpected happened or that his job unexpectedly had him working late. How do you react?
Last edited by tomskunk on 30 Nov 2021 00:04, edited 1 time in total.
#15200300
@snapdragon My daughter(33 years old) let a Hungarian man insist on buying her dinner 6 years ago. They got married 2 weeks ago. :cheers:

I agree with @Drlee about the absurdity of men expecting sex after buying a meal. Are there men who think like that? Sure... but they are a minority of assholes. They are not the norm.

We could go on about women who only want to sleep with rich men or after they'd had a sufficient number of dates and he's spent enough money on her, but we all know that we'd be talking about a very small minority, too. They are not the norm.

A man insisting on paying for dinner is not asserting dominance or control. He's trying to make the dinner experience for the woman great by making it so she doesn't have to contribute anything to it, financially. Is it old-fashioned? Not really. Is it bad, though?

I spoke to my wife about it, and she says that the man should pay for a date as a matter of respect. That said, she doesn't think the woman insisting on splitting the price is bad either, but it sends a message that she's not that interested him, or that she just wants to be "friends".

There are different ways to look at it, @snapdragon, and I think your way is the most cynical. I tend to be a bit more pragmatic.


@tomskunk Being late or standing someone up, when dating, would appear to me, to be disrespectful.
#15200301
@Godstud

Godstud wrote:@tomskunk Being late or standing someone up, when dating, would appear to me, to be disrespectful.


NOOOO! The woman is just being a control freak by taking it as a sign of disrespect! People have lives. Women aren't the center of the universe you know! I don't like to be controlled like that. I am an indpendent guy. Is there something wrong with that? Am I missing something?
#15200303
It's sort of showing that you have no problem with wasting her time, or that you really aren't that interested in her.

I always showed up early when I was meeting a woman for dinner. If I went to pick her up, I'd make sure I was 5 minutes early. Being late or not showing up would have been bad.
#15200308
Feminism, equality, and women's liberation have not gotten rid of good manners, politeness and respect, @tomskunk.

My wife says that being late for a date is very bad. :D I agree.
#15200311
@tomskunk If a person is late when meeting you, and they don't call to let you know, then they simply are showing that you aren't that important to them. This would be the case if you were waiting on a woman meeting you, too.
#15200315
Godstud wrote:@Rich Misogyny AND conspiracy theory bullshit all in one post. You're in good form. :lol:

:lol: You really are stupid GodStud aren't you? What kind of cretin interprets my previous post as misogynist.

True I don't see women as being "fair" in how they spread their affections, but I don't see men as being fair in how they spread their affections, more importantly I don't myself as being fair in how I spread my affections.

:lol: But really Godstud that you of all people should accuse me of misogyny. You, the apologist for the Thai monarchy and the Thai Buddhist establishment, if they are not examples of institutionalised misogyny I don't know what is. You live in a deeply patriarchal society where there are still massive barriers both formal and informal to women's equality. Although there have been undoubted advances most women in Thailand are still deeply economically disempowered and often must rely on men's largess when going to a restaurant. You seem to have been in Thailand for quite some time. When you arrived it must have been quite wonderful for any western man with a few quid in his pockets. He was in a wonderful position of economic privilege and dominance over most Thai women.
#15200318
Incels need to realize that the male-female ratio on dating apps is like 20:1, so if they're average looking (which most are) the only people they'll match with are fat chicks with kids who are 5+ years older than them because the top 20% of guys in terms of looks are getting 80% the girls, lying to them that they want a "real relationship" just to have sex with them, and then throwing them to the curb in order to repeat the process.

So incels need to grow some balls and start asking girls out in person like everyone used to do during the entirety of human history minus the last 15 years, and women need to stop expecting to find a good guy on these apps.
#15200319
Steve_American wrote:Sorry for the wording in the subject. 'Women' didn't 'actually' fit.

Men see the lost cause of dating (because basically women don't want men in their lives), will it actually cause society to fall apart? 1 hour
Better Bachelor, 208,665 views, 354K subscribers
[quote ] Basically a talking head video, not much to see other than the article. You can check out the podcast for supporters on https://betterbachelor.locals.com/sup... to save data if you wish.

Seems with men realizing their odds of dating, marriage and family being a lost cause, men are opting out of the workforce or are participating at minimal levels, causing much of the financial and economic issues we see today. Great article by Aaron Clarey I'm going to discuss.

Here is Aaron's book, basically all the statistics you need to know about dating, marriage and women. I really think it's a brilliant and accurate statistical book on the odds of dating and marriage.


Maybe the problem isn't women, maybe the problem is you. Maybe women don't want to date you because they don't like you because you don't brush your teeth or you're a douche or something, I dunno. But if you're not attractive to women in general the problem isn't women.
#15200320
@Unthinking Majority @Godstud

I tell you what, I sure am glad I am married and have a good wife and don't have to deal with all that craziness of dating these days. People make things harder than they should be but the reality is, is that they do and because they do, you have to adapt to the situation and ensure as a guy you are not dominated by women either and that things are kept equal and respectful. You feel like some women try to play power games with you and you have no choice but to resort to playing them back to keep things equal and respectful in the long term. It doesn't have to be that way, but it is. Sure am glad I don't have to deal with such a mess. I like to keep things simple, easy to understand, and respectful. It's not necessary to make things more complicated than what they have to be.
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