@snapdragon And please don’t give your adult daughter the idea that she can confidently judge a man by his behaviour when on a date.
That ain’t necessarily so.
Oh really? Tell us how it is that she is supposed to judge him at all if not when the are together for the first few times?
Way to teach your daughters to have contempt for men. I don't mean to gaslight you but you must have hit a string of really unlucky (or poor) choices.
I work with a ton of fine young men. Men that your daughters or any other women would be fortunate to date. This does not mean they are not young men and all that entails. It does mean that in all but the rare outlier they are not looking to fuck women for money. Good grief.
If you teach your daughters how to set limits and behave according to those limits they will be fine.
I know many men today who are so terrified of women that they have simply decided that dating is too risky. I know a very fine doctor who could have any number of women just for the snap of his fingers, who mentioned this to me not long ago.
I have no patience for mistreating women. I chewed out a doctor just the other day for making an unfortunate comment to one of our female volunteers. That said. Everyone wins when love prevails. Turn dating into an exercise in suspicion and the presumption of evil intent and you are doing no one any favors.
As for your assertion that all women have had bad experiences, I am going to simply reply...so have men. Reasonable caution is always wise. But the outright expectation that the guy who wants to buy your dinner thinks he gets to have sex as long as he leaves an appropriate tip is absurd.
Maybe I know a lot more men than you do but I have never in my 70 years heard a guy say, "I sprung for lobster and she shut me down". I have heard guys who have tried very hard to impress a woman say, "I really tried but she was just not into me." Sometimes they were angry that they dated someone for several weeks just to hear that. I don't blame them. But it was certainly not about the cost of a meal FGS.
Try teaching your daughter this. When you go out with a man, it is possible that he is head over heels for you even if you are not. So be kind and tell him soon. Nobody needs
a date for Friday night.