- 15 Sep 2024 22:36
#15325051
I'm listening to the Dollop podcast episode on JD Vance and they're at the part of Hillbilly Elegy where he talks about getting to Yale and spitting out his first taste of sparkling water because he'd never had it before.
What a fucking unimaginative writer Vance is. You're telling me he's a hillbilly who never had a soda before? Or pop, he's from the Midwest so he likely calls it pop instead. He never drank 7-Up? He never had a drink from a bunch of two liters of Sprite at a birthday party? He went through the military and never had a Coca-Cola, so the entire concept of carbonated beverages was so foreign to him that he assumed it was witchcraft when he got to Yale? I thought the joke was that Hillbillies don't drink water, they drink soda, which is why they have terrible teeth.
If you're from the Midwest, the taste of a clear, carbonated lemon-lime beverage is one of the most universal experiences you can possibly have besides getting buttfucked in a corn field. It would have been more believable if he spat it out because it was the first time he tasted water, or unflavored pop as his hillbilly Yale law school ass would call it.
"There's a-summin' wrong with yer Sprite, mister! A witch done come and took your flavor!" I exclaimed with such force that the corncob pipe flew out of my mouth. I am the everyman, sympathize with me.
WRITER 4 HIRE
WILL DO RACISM FOR BEER, CASH
HELP A PATRIOT OUT