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Discuss literary and artistic creations, or post your own poetry, essays etc.
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By jimjam
#15119030
When Henry was six minutes late with his mortgage payment, the Goldman Goldblat Bank charged him a $185 late fee, a 279.37 penalty, a $127.41 fee fee and $432.11 in additional interest. Henry walked into the 23rd Street branch of the Goldman Goldblat bank and asked for his safe deposit box. After removing his divorce papars, his number one Superman comic, and an antique 9mm hand gun, Henry inserted one cod fish and a pound of hamburg. He then returned his box to the safe.
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By Rancid
#15119032
jimjam wrote:When Henry was six minutes late with his mortgage payment, the Goldman Goldblat Bank charged him a $185 late fee, a 279.37 penalty, a $127.41 fee fee and $432.11 in additional interest. Henry walked into the 23rd Street branch of the Goldman Goldblat bank and asked for his safe deposit box. After removing his divorce papars, his number one Superman comic, and an antique 9mm hand gun, Henry inserted one cod fish and a pound of hamburg. He then returned his box to the safe.


Did he blow his brains out with the 9mm?
User avatar
By jimjam
#15119111
Father Thadious informed Billy that if he engaged in sex outside the holy state of matrimony he would burn in hell for all eternity in a bottomless pit of fire. Billy, who turned 16 today, considered this and then considered Mary Armstrong's breasts. This certainly was a steep price to pay but ……. may well be worth it :) .
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By Godstud
#15119112
:lol: I like it. Brilliant.
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By jimjam
#15119118
Big Frank just hung up on the bitch from the We Never Sleep Collection Agency. The interest on the $100 loan from the You Keep The Car loan company was $746.21. The toilet in the upstairs apartment flushed for the 12th time in one hour.
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By jimjam
#15119374
The evening meeting of the Miami Beach Geriatric Jewish Social Club was in session at the Collins Avenue Burger King. Aila and Sarah launched their walkers and headed optimistically toward the rest rooms.

Image
#15119380
Alex heard the loudspeaker beckoning him for the last time to board his flight. He tried to run, but the negative social gravity of Taoyuan Airport clamped his legs to a swift walk. The stark white surroundings bleached his mind as he tried to forget that Big Mac he hadn't had time for.
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By jimjam
#15119477
Danny Boy powered his Harley through the kitchen after smashing a quarter pound chunk of butter on the wall. He has been out of sorts lately and we weren't certain if this could be the result of his running afoul of the Florida law against dwarf tossing or the expiration of his lorazepam script.
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By Local Localist
#15119494
Aloysius averted the avenue to Albuquerque, allowing a very amicable ambiance.
His desert tour was ended, however, by a hole in the ground of sizable measure.
His bicycle was mangled, hung on the hole's wall, while he was stranded beneath it all.
Eventually, a woman saw him, and parked her car along the rim.
She hollered at the hole, to check for life, and it called back, like a nagging wife.
"I think it's based", he called to the top, praying for the pain to stop.
"Based on what?", he heard her yell, from the top of the faux-well.



I don't know why I wasted my time on that.
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By jimjam
#15119680
Bobby was a kid living in the hills of Northeast Pennsylvania when The Machine plucked him up and sent him to the jungles of Vietnam to protect America from Communism by killing strangers or to be killed by strangers. He spent time on a river boat in Cambodia ducking "incoming". A stranger in a strange land. Upon his return to the hills that were his home he upped his beer consumption. He was now 33 1/3 percent or more drunk all day, every day. He always carried a 16 ounce can of cheap beer in his pocket which he "popped" whenever he sensed sobriety creeping in. Bobby is dead now. Death by beer. I last saw him at the Julia Ribaudo Nursing Home while he was fumbling with some coins to get a Little Debbie cupcake out of a vending machine in the hall. The U.S. Navy sent a sailor to play taps at his funeral which was paid for when Bobby's gun collection was sold to a fellow with a big beard named Skippy who showed up on a Harley.

God Bless America!
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By Local Localist
#15119875
There was a proprietor, Cowboy Bill, who terrorised Indian nations.
That way, it was assured his property was on the edge of civilisation.
Cowboy Bill went up the hill to see the Indians dance.
Cowboy Bill came down the hill with arrows in his pants. :O
User avatar
By jimjam
#15120974
Local Localist wrote:There was a proprietor, Cowboy Bill, who terrorised Indian nations.
That way, it was assured his property was on the edge of civilisation.
Cowboy Bill went up the hill to see the Indians dance.
Cowboy Bill came down the hill with arrows in his pants. :O

I call it painting a picture with words ……… only a sentence or three at the most.

Jerro stood next to me on the starting line. A few hundred Catholic high school boys : lean, competitive, energetic and motivated. The starting line of the CHSAA/NYC one mile run champs and, unbeknownst to us at the time, the starting line of life. Fifty years later I learned that Jerro had morphed into 2lt William F. Jerro, U.S.M.C. and got blown to pieces defending a godforsaken hill in Vietnam from Communism (True story). Some get the good life and some ….. get it up the ass.
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By jimjam
#15122013
It was 3AM when Owen stepped off the Greyhound bus in Greenville, South Carolina for a 30 minute rest stop. After dealing with a urinal that someone had puked in he turned his attention to the snack bar that was helpfully named: "EAT". He tried to talk himself into a hot dog that looked like it had been sitting for a few weeks displayed under an orange light bulb . He made plunge and applied mustard that resembled the thick paint that remained at the bottom of a can. After spitting out an unidentifiable rubber like particle a palmetto bug scurried under a loose floor board.

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