MistyTiger wrote:What I do not like is if a man is stoic, very stone-faced. Even though I grew up watching action flicks with those edgy action heroes who never smiled, I still liked to see them crack a joke (even a bitter joke) or show some kind of emotion. At the end of the day, we all are human no matter if we are man or woman. We all have feelings. These emotions make us relatable.
This is not the norm. Most men don't fit into this category.
MistyTiger wrote:I dislike anyone who is dramatic. If they go overboard with reacting to something sad, serious or just sensational. If they act unreasonable like ask me to change colleges just because he got fired by the college, I call this immaturity or being very dramatic.
Dramatic is emotional. Emotionality is a more feminine trait. Women don't(and I speak generally) want men who are dramatic or overly-emotional. They want stability and stoicism(to a degree). They want the rock to which they can cling to in a storm of emotions(nice metaphor, eh?).
The problem that occurs is that women want men to be more emotional, but then will, at the same time, find this emotionality to be off-putting.
MistyTiger wrote:Emotionally available in my opinion is allowing oneself to show emotion and show vulnerability in a healthy way.
The healthy way for men to show it is not the same as for women.
Men absolutely do feel pain and emotions. We're just hard-wired not to show it, because it's a biological thing that is built into us. Showing too many emotions is seen as a weakness. We' re built so that when stress and emotions overwhelm us, we ACT. That's the survival instinct.
That wounded action hero is hurt and emotional, but he's being strong and brave in the face of it. It's not that he's not afraid or feeling pain. If the Hero's a man, he's just going to use that energy to spur action.
I don't know if you've ever seen a man get angry and punch something like a wall or door, but that's often how we express emotions. We use action and use the energy from the emotions to do something. Hopefully, it's something productive.
It's not unhealthy to do this, unless you are a woman, who deals with things in a different manner. For men, dealing with emotions thru doing something physical(hunting, working out, running, etc.), helps us cope with these things, and relieves the stress of these emotions. That's a healthy way for a man to deal with these things.
Granted, this is the norm and doesn't extend to things like trauma and PTSD, which go beyond this level of the typical coping mechanism that men have.
“Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson